Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (301)
notmuch 0
And btw, 'just hanging out and watching a movie' with a new boyfriend/girlfriend translates to having sweaty, passionate sex for hours. How do you not know this?
Insert_Wit_Here 0
Um, I used to say this all the time to my ex when special occasions were coming up, it's probably a joke. By 'joke' I mean he's not serious about it, but would definitely be game were you to take him up on it. Do something nice for him and don't take what he says seriously. If you never do it for him, he was making a joke. If you do do it for him, then he probably figured it wouldn't be a big deal as your relationship should be mature enough at that point to handle something like that.
1Tsk 0
@#9, break up with him if he's a pain in your butt
wolfpackchick10 0
Hahaha!! I got the same answer!! Well, actually...I got the answer sex (technically, I got a pat on my vjay). But same idea :-)
kankhatul 0
You are lucky, my answer would be "anal".
Ilovelife07 0
Pft, whats the problem? its free and its the best gift ever
genius_man16 1
#10 is right, there needs to be a "so what" button if you're too naive to know that movies = sex then maybe you're too young to be giving bj's
greenyme 0
neither FYL nor YDI imho.. agree with #6
tmp_fml 0
the other guy is just after ******** too, he just has a more roundabout way of asking for 'em...
Some___Guy 0
Cheaper than diamonds.