Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking past there and the bird attacked me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jqmalang 17
"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.
yuno_gasai_fml 34
I hope you're ok op :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
Sklinetobe88 11
How can you be afraid of tweet tweet's?! They're so cute and pretty
Cyrus00 41
He could smell your fear!
HollyPolly 19
lmao I really hope that your alright. Listen to your gut!
Dez_Nutz666 3
Jahaha
ffiguresskating 11
It'll be alright! Maybe try again with a very trained bird? You're getting there, but you don't have to push yourself! Hope you'll be ok!
The_Skittish_One 27
Good on you for trying to face your fears, but it's such a shame that this had to happen. Birds make me pretty nervous; I don't want them near me. Watching Hitchcock's The Birds didn't help either XD
gintwinsmoore 20
just when you thought the air was safe...lol
abNormal62 23
You can overcome this if you try a little harder. Check out Alford Hitchcock's the birds it will ease your concerns about our fine feathered friends
nightfall8705 33
Bird: +1 Sorry about your face, OP.
Celticlily_fml 1
Understand it perfectly cause I have ornitophobia myself. Unfortunately it's perfectly ok for people to be afraid of spiders but you become the weirdest weirdo on Earth when you tell people you have a fear of birds. As I work with children I can't show that I'm scared and have to face my fear about 96% of the time but when I'm alone and in front of one of those monsters I scream and cry like a little girl.