Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking past there and the bird attacked me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML
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Top comments
jqmalang 17
"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.
yuno_gasai_fml 34
I hope you're ok op :)
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Comments (80)
elmo9012 6
u cant trust birds....ever
NonoMeow 18
I'm sorry that he wasn't your Lovey Dovey, Sheldon Cooper.
chrisseesyou 11
most birds are assholes least he didn't get your eyes
Kikiers21042 18
Yikes! Sadly picked the wrong bird to get over your fear but how where you to know. Good that your trying to face your fear! Don't give up because of one bad fear and you might want to get your wounds checked out good luck next time OP :(
MalcolmRodrigues 9
your dp says different...
Wafalafaugus 18
I think you would love a certain movie titled "Birdemic."
Zebediabolical 45
It could smell your fear. So it decided to taste your fear too. Hope you're ok OP.
itsjustsofunny 17
That sucks, but he just wanted a peck on the lips.
hoosiergirl94 31
Birds are evil!!
Eloxia 7
Birds cannot be trusted. Keeping them at a distance is the best philosophy.
iRambo 12
Animals do know human fears. Don't show it and face it!