Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking past there and the bird attacked me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML
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Top comments
jqmalang 17
"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.
yuno_gasai_fml 34
I hope you're ok op :)
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Comments (80)
firelegend 17
Is that supposed to be a pun?
TypoFairy 20
That was incredibly brave, but birds are so much more complicated than (for example) dogs when it comes to how you can address them. Some species are more aggressive, even with proper handling. Most that I've come in contact with are bonded with one or two people and those are the only people that can handle them without being injured. Even my bird (smaller parrot) has his days where even I can't handle him and that's just his species attitude. If you decide to try conquering your fear again I'd start with (if possible) a hand fed baby or a proven even tempered bird. There are ways to hold a bird to minimize any possible nips. I wish you luck!
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Is it a green cheek conure? Or even a sun conure? I have one and they're really rude for their first two years. They call them the terrible twos.
CosmicElk 26
some birds can be utter wankers, dont give up though :)
senortaco 7
What is it with everybody saying mah?
notalwaysbesta 14
You should have known that fear of birds is logical. Fear and instincts are there for a reason. I am always cautious of birds and have not been attacked since I was 5
awesomeali 19
Why does so many people think he deserves it I feel sorry for the guy
Thorin2012 9
Why does OP deserve this? They were confronting their fear.
Artificial 4
Ornithophobia
hman1025 17
When I was little I went to a bird store and there was a talking parrot. When I walked up to it it screamed "GO AWAY" at the top of its bird lungs.