Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML
Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML
Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, after months of asking my massage therapist boyfriend to work on me, and him always saying he’s too tired to do so, I called my local spa to make an appointment. He then screamed at me for wasting money and for going to the competition when he could just do the job himself. I'm confused too. FML
Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML
Today, I went for a massage because my shoulder's been hurting for months but I can't take decent painkillers because they'd react with my anti-depressants. It STILL hurts, but worse, across my upper spine, and I can't tilt my head back. I paid to look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame doing a swan impression. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I paid for my man to get a massage while we were on vacation. The hour passes and he wasn't answering his phone or texts. I go to the room and he’s just getting out of the shower. I come to find out she is high on ketamine, and he said they kissed. He still denies it. This is what I get for getting him a massage. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Yeah it kinda sucks and they’re not as awesome as the “exotic” name implies. Thai massages involve pulling, yanking, twisting, and throwing your body parts around. I have an old shoulder injury I didn’t tell my masseuse about when I got one in Thailand a couple years ago, and thankfully I didn’t get re-injured. Regarding the injuries you got, sometimes you don’t realize how aggressive something is until you see the injuries after the fact. But you tried something new, found out it’s not really for you, and presumably got a good stretch out of it! You got a few bruises but they’ll heal. But they came with a new life experience and now you get to warn your friends about it! Hahaha :)
SamiaK 4
Hey guys, my first FML! I'm a 30 year old mother of a young boy, so I decided to treat myself to have some 'me time'. I'm quite petite but wasn't expecting the lady to be as aggressive as she was. She could see me wincing in pain and I even told her to go lightly as I was obviously uncomfortable. At one point I even let out an "ouch" as her entire body weight was on top of me and I was struggling to take a breath. It was only after I came home, the next day I found that I couldn't get out of bed because my back was in agony, and I found new marks and bruises on my arms and legs too. Luckily it was during a trip to Poland so safe to say I won't be going back there again. Shame about the 4000+ 5* reviews of the place, hands down the worst massage experience of my life. So much for taking a relaxing break from my 3 year old son!
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Comments (9)
Marcella1016 32
Yeah it kinda sucks and they’re not as awesome as the “exotic” name implies. Thai massages involve pulling, yanking, twisting, and throwing your body parts around. I have an old shoulder injury I didn’t tell my masseuse about when I got one in Thailand a couple years ago, and thankfully I didn’t get re-injured. Regarding the injuries you got, sometimes you don’t realize how aggressive something is until you see the injuries after the fact. But you tried something new, found out it’s not really for you, and presumably got a good stretch out of it! You got a few bruises but they’ll heal. But they came with a new life experience and now you get to warn your friends about it! Hahaha :)
RichardPencil 32
Most divorced guys pay half of what they own for someone to hurt them, so you got off cheap. At least this story has a happy ending.
Gubbon 17
I don't think it has / had a happy ending.
SamiaK 4
Hey guys, my first FML! I'm a 30 year old mother of a young boy, so I decided to treat myself to have some 'me time'. I'm quite petite but wasn't expecting the lady to be as aggressive as she was. She could see me wincing in pain and I even told her to go lightly as I was obviously uncomfortable. At one point I even let out an "ouch" as her entire body weight was on top of me and I was struggling to take a breath. It was only after I came home, the next day I found that I couldn't get out of bed because my back was in agony, and I found new marks and bruises on my arms and legs too. Luckily it was during a trip to Poland so safe to say I won't be going back there again. Shame about the 4000+ 5* reviews of the place, hands down the worst massage experience of my life. So much for taking a relaxing break from my 3 year old son!
shannon23489 2
Just a thought but did you ever consider speaking up? ydi
eggs and cheese 8
i wouldve asked for my money back
turnabouttrial 21
everyone has different thresholds and bodily limitations. speak up next time but honestly the masseuse should really ask you as well
Gubbon 17
Wait until you find out about chinese massage...