Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking past there and the bird attacked me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML
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Top comments
jqmalang 17
"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.
yuno_gasai_fml 34
I hope you're ok op :)
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Comments (80)
Vickeh 15
Props for trying to confront your fears. Since I've had many birds in the past, I would suggest you to start with a very docile bird such as a Love Bird... nice little creatures
rizzkiyoshi 19
my love bird was an asshole. I prefer cockatiels
TypoFairy 20
Love Birds, Cockatiels, Budgies, Quaker Parrots. A good percentage of them are gentle and fairly easy to handle.
dreamful_artist 14
At least you tried to face your fears! One step closer to totally getting rid of it op.
ajs1987 15
It could've been worse, what if it attacked your pecker?
sunnyskys 25
Could also be meaning a persons nose. but I guess that wouldn't make sence, since it was there face.
kikoma 32
Suppose you are afraid of birds even more now... :/
BDanzeisen 20
Polly wanna cracker?
nityasomaiya 46
Cheep *peck*
sharkgirl4 23
I feel you OP, I'm terrified of birds. They can sense your fear. A few weeks ago I was on a restaurant patio with my boyfriend when a duck suddenly landed on my lap and I nearly had a heart attack while everyone laughed.
more4me 27
WTH ?!!! That would probably make me pee my pants right there! You are brave !
missbrit818 20
Well at least you were strong enough to try go conquer a fear!
jqmalang 17
"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.
Zarcissa 34
Reminds me of the time I tried to face my fear of snakes by holding one on my hands and shoulders... the snake decided to start wrapping itself around my neck. There went my confidence, luckily the snakes' owner noticed my panic and took the snake off before things got worse.
sunnyskys 25
You ain't roasting this Turkey lol, but it'll have you eyes for lunch.
Xivion 19
"ahh! Bird bird! Bird! Kill it!" ~portal2