Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Sit on the toilet with a bucket or trash can in front of you...?
dthindd 17
Just use a bucket in front of you so you don't have to clean up any puke!! Best way to go. (Line the bucket or bowl or whatever with a garbage bag so u can easily throw it out)☺️☺️ hope you feel better soon!!
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Comments (186)
xluciferx666 21
I would think that cleaning up vomit is more bearable than cleaning up poo so I would go for sitting on the toilet
brytonhansen 19
Sit on the toilet with a trash can....
LifeFailure 16
If you can't afford a trash can, at least find a plastic bag to puke in. Durr.
sammieshortcake 15
If you were dumb enough not to get a trash can, bucket, or even plastic bag to puke in and instead opted for the floor you deserve to have to clean it up. Apparently lack of common sense is a legit illness now.
lennon_ 16
why are you so mad about it haha
gordjess1 19
Umm a bucket maybe?? There's always something. Like I'm sure you have a bin so YDI I think.
tamesenicole 27
Sit and have a bucket on stand by #boom!
usaidwhat82 21
That sucks, OP. Feel better soon!
natalyeah 3
Bro. It's called a waste basket. Hold it in your lap.
Rich531 21
Have you heard of a bucket? Also good luck with that!
ooooohboy 15
Just bring a bucket. It might help