Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Sit on the toilet with a bucket or trash can in front of you...?
dthindd 17
Just use a bucket in front of you so you don't have to clean up any puke!! Best way to go. (Line the bucket or bowl or whatever with a garbage bag so u can easily throw it out)☺️☺️ hope you feel better soon!!
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Comments (186)
buckdharma 38
Pick kneeling, and leave your troubles behind.
Slavgaard 16
bucket with a plastic bag in it...
amandalynn84 14
Feel better...Use a trash can while in the bathroom and leave one by the couch.
ElyseMoon420 9
Been there, done that... pleh, get better soon
blairvic 23
Me too, a few weeks ago. Always sit on the toilet, OP. Get a bucket and puke into that, it's better than crapping your pants. I made that mistake once. Get better.
Britt125 16
Get a bucket and sit on the toilet. You've gotta have something even if you don't have a bucket. Hell if it comes down to it grab a plastic bag not perfect but better than nothing. I hope you feel better soon.
DarkCaesar 17
Sit in a bathtub or shower
Nicky_Annette 7
I hope you feel better soon. As I too am sick with the stomach flu, but common sense says use a bucket, trash can, bag or something to catch your vomit.
Madrias 36
Butt on the throne and hold the trash can in front of you. Invest in a little bucket or something for next time, keep it next to/behind the toilet, within arm's reach. If you want to be clever about it, put the plunger in the bucket when it's not in use.
ebadams311 10
when ever I'm sick I always sit on the toilet with the can by me