Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Sit on the toilet with a bucket or trash can in front of you...?
dthindd 17
Just use a bucket in front of you so you don't have to clean up any puke!! Best way to go. (Line the bucket or bowl or whatever with a garbage bag so u can easily throw it out)☺️☺️ hope you feel better soon!!
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Comments (186)
Maycontainnuts 17
Can you not just get a bowl to puke in?
dagarr 11
sit in the shower
Jack_Me_Off_Jerk 5
jump in the tub
yolololol3 17
Find the trash can, take it with you.
mishwarner 14
So many ppl can't be wrong - get a bucket & pule in that
fml510605 16
I just got over the stomach flu last week so I know how you feel. Feel better soon OP
nekminnet 13
For the love of God get a bucket you idiot
Oh_bother44 11
There is still some level of clean up with a garbage can though... I got sick like that once (thankfully my roommate was out that night) but we had been using plastic shopping bags for our trash and those things get tiny holes. Plus it was easier to dump the puke in the toilet when I was done and wash it in the tub than to deal with getting trash bags down to the hall trash can. The problem was that by the time I laid down again it was time to get up and head back to the bathroom xP contemplated sleeping on the bathroom floor ( not that sleep was a possibility) the POINT being OP didn't say ther wasn't a bucket, they just said there was clean up on the other end each time
amandaw9009 15
had this dilemma two weeks ago!
allplayedout 20
Surely you own a trash can or some plastic bags that you could puke in while you're on the toilet?