Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control, because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML
Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
starflake 3
Lol, YDI. Take some responsibility for yourself you idiot.
Sawadee 0
No control is the best control.............. You can secretly mixed the plan b into her food or drink
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (250)
AmberHall 2
#36 No-one is making you date her. If you care for her enough to respect her beliefs like you're doing the kudos to you. But try and do it graciously, makes the sacrifice even better
Psodium 0
Maybe she said she mediCated?
staciieee_x3 0
IMO, your fault for not asking what her birth control was before you had sex with her.
Chubtubdaplaya 0
Nobody likes fake FML's.
UrRightFML 0
Humm...
Devikarawr 0
fyl because. . . .well. you obviously thought it was 'normal' contra- but ydi cause you didnt pay enough attention or care in advance!
Lexia_fml 0
Dude no FYL, you'd deserve child support if you can't keep it in your pants long enough to make sure there's reliable birth control But then no child would deserve you as a father.
krisFrAnHeehar 0
Your stupid, sometimes even regular birth control fails, follow the rule, no glove. no love.
boatkicker 5
Condoms fail too. best to use some kind of pill/shot and a condom. lol but at least one or the other. otherwise you're just being ridiculous. OP, FYL
regalarius 0
...if it's me, if there's a glove, there will be no love. Takes absolutely all of the fun out of it - I'd rather ********** into a sock than **** with a condom on.
krisFrAnHeehar 0
i did mean pill and condom, and i bet whoever your ****** would rather have you ********** into a sock than get her pregnant. Prick.
lmmmr 0
Regalarius- Then you have absolutely no right whatsoever to be upset when a girl gets pregnant. If you refuse to do your part, YDI.
ZuRG_fml 7
#83: or when he gets herpes. ha.
marshallal 0
Bright... really bright... that girl is so trying to get pregnant.
Momar242 0
entrapment!!!!