Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Talk about not being able to hold your liquor!
perdix 31
Drinking wine at a lunch meeting? You mustn't be from around here. (Ever since the Exxon Valdez, drinking on the job has been considered a bad idea here in the US.)
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Comments (61)
galt 13
That sucks. Hopefully you'll live it down quickly.
lilhellian 27
Since when does shit like this ever get lived down so easily.. I know I'd drag it out long as possible..
Reaper1984 13
Once again another waste of a first comment.
Reaper1984 13
Once again another big waste on a #1 comment.
RedPillSucks 33
Talk about not being able to hold your liquor!
ZacZ 8
How is that funny.
perdix 31
#28, because it is literal in this case and not figurative. "Holding your liquor" is a figure of speech meaning that you can function well when you are drunk. RPS noticed in this case that the OP failed to hold her liquor in her body by laughing explosively. Now, that I have provided an exhaustive semantic analysis of the joke, I hope you enjoy the hysterical laughter those of us who got the joke in the first place recently had.
xlord 27
you just know that your boss is going to start whining about it later.
NurseJonathan 9
I wouldn't honestly blame him. They were "important" people and if they end up getting splashed by wine from someone's nose, they'd probably change their minds about what they planned, thus causing a huge loss for the company.
xlord 27
I'm not sure if you realised but I was just trying to make a pun :)
NurseJonathan 9
I did not notice. Even if it was "wining" it may have still flown over my head.
lilhellian 27
Flying wine? I'll have what he's having..
NurseJonathan 9
You'll be like a drunk Peter Pan!
perdix 31
Drinking wine at a lunch meeting? You mustn't be from around here. (Ever since the Exxon Valdez, drinking on the job has been considered a bad idea here in the US.)
HortonThelephant 15
Plot twist! OP was only drinking water!
McNikk 15
What difference would that make? Op's boss would still be wet with op's saliva infested backwash .
Mr_Satan 11
46 - All I can figure is 6 is trying to call the OP Jesus....
McNikk 15
If I was in you boss' s position I'd be a little frustrated too but I would understand that it was an accident. Hopefully your boss will be mature enough to understand.
BrookieAnn 19
Be prepared to receive a dry cleaning bill
mackdeezy 22
Hey man sometimes life can be unexpected, hopefully it didnt faze the clients to much. FYL
ManInTheMachine 20
Sounds like you shaved hobbit too close. God, kill me now.
ManInTheMachine 20
******* shit wrong FML. Disregard.
Blahshabadada 10
Drinking wine and making jokes.... sounds really important ._.