Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
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Top comments
1awliet 8
He's obviously never heard of the 3 second rule.
MLK12345 4
So if you drop a skittle on the ground, and I manage to shit on it and pee on it in under 3 seconds, would you still eat it?
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Comments (194)
MoZZie_fml 0
at least you weren't out to dinner when he peed on you. it rinses rigut off in the shower.
j_cat187 20
Doing both of those things are fine
sikmunkee 9
did you use the 5 second rule
JinxosGirl87 0
At least he didn't pee inside of you thinking that you would like it and be disappointed when you don't feel a thing. Just sayin'.
xjt350 5
Pee inside? I've never heard of that one!
ty1992_farmlife 12
That sounds screwed up.. she used the 5second rule (hopefully) she's fine, him peeing on her not so fine
kemando 22
Well technically it is, it's being rinsed off has he does it where as floors carry bacteria and such.
kemando 22
Point is pee on skin being rinsed off is harmless.
farhil 14
Except you don't type on surfaces that are as dirty as, say, a bathroom floor? Or even as dirty as the bottom of a shoe. The floor is as dirty as the dirtiest place that anyone has set foot in. Rather disgusting if you think about it.
bubbywaldo 0
Oh good god, who cares if urine is sterile? That is not the point!! Peeing on someone is not a kind and loving act of sex or intimacy, it is a weird disrespectful put down.
obviousboy 8
Well, urine is sterile, so unless the floor off of which you just ate was, you technically performed the more disgusting act. :P
aFreedom127 9
A good facial is fine too.
xjt350 5
I like this comment!! ;)
aFreedom127 9
Just don't pee on my face!
xjt350 5
I wouldn't dare!!
xjt350 5
You like facials huh?? ;)
lkalili 7
You guys are both weird
iamyourgod 3
So to clarify, were you in the shower at the same time? If you were that's a little gross, if you weren't who cares. Who doesn't pee in the shower by themselves?