Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
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Top comments
1awliet 8
He's obviously never heard of the 3 second rule.
MLK12345 4
So if you drop a skittle on the ground, and I manage to shit on it and pee on it in under 3 seconds, would you still eat it?
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Comments (194)
rbr0wn 3
At least urine is typically sterile. Unless he has some disease he's not telling you about. Then that would really be a gross FML.
SDMF 0
Correct
Monkeysmommy1 0
As long as that skittle wasn't on the shower floor, I'm sure it was fine!! I'd consider a bf replacement though
rbr0wn 3
Why does everyone automatically say "dump that a-hole," etc. when something like this happens? It's not like he cheated on her or killed her cat. If you dumped your significant other every time they did something stupid or foolish no one would ever be in a relationship.
CryMoreFMLs 15
28 - Less competition for the meek and downtrodden, who have spent years practicing how to not **** up!
Nosrebor 8
They probably say it because they have never been in a proper relationship.
Monkeysmommy1 0
Frankly, because he sounds immature. That's my reasoning. And if a girl just settles for a guy who acts like a jerk then well- YDI
Monkeysmommy1 0
Actually I'm happily married. For the 2nd time. I was once the pitiful girl settling for less. Then I woke up, divorced his lazy ass and several years later remarried happiness. So hahaha you're wronggg.
saIty 17
How did you go about picking it up? Did you casually pick it up and eat it after blowing it. OR Did you dolphin dive to it and viciously devour that poor skittle?
iemislayer 10
Love ur profile pic LMFAO
kronick_fml 0
Awesome
Parky03 9
Dinkleberg.....
cupcakes729 7
Eww! Sorry fyl....
perdix 31
Why are you eating Skittles in the shower with your boyfriend? I'd be disgusted with you if you ate Skittles in a Class 4 Clean Room out of a sterile bag. Skittles suck!
farhil 14
My dog's name is Skittles... I'm offended.
perdix 31
It's a good dog name, especially if it's a dog prone to get worms and skittles on its ass a lot. It's an awful candy, though.
Otarin 6
They do make great advertisements though.
perdix 31
#101, I do agree with that! I feel like such an idiot when I get sucked in by the ads to try the nasty candy one more time.
shrdlu 28
For Halloween I bought a bag of mixed candy to give out... and by Halloween only the Skittles were left. BTW Skittles are probably too dirty to be brought into a class 4, or even 3, clean room. :-)
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm not sure if you guys are being sarcastic but skittles taste pretty good... Taste the rainbow.
Steve95401 49
OP said she dropped a Skittles on the floor - but she didn't say it was the shower floor. It sounded like this happened before they got in the shower together.
shift_love 13
You must be dating R. Kelley?
gabrielbaby 9
Haha! Your old greeeeg!
nelliednt 6
Your fault for dating an ass OP have some respect for yourself.
Steve95401 49
And you stay with him because...?
afulks78 11
Thoes are both not gross....
xjt350 5
So your saying you like golden showers???
afulks78 11
**** yes haha
xjt350 5
I like that in a lady ;)
KiddNYC1O 22
That's hot.
afulks78 11
Haha
dominicanoo168 0
Priceless