Today, my fiancee and I dropped off our kiddo at a birthday party. Since it's been a couple of weeks of no sex, I said, "We could have sex while he's gone!" She said "Or… we could clean!" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML
Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML
Today, we got back from vacation. In the lead up to our vacation, my girlfriend talked excitedly about all the sex we could have. When we got to the hotel, I heard, "I can't be comfortable, what if they hear us in the hall?" After we got home, first thing was, "I want to deep clean the bedroom, sex can wait." FML
Today, it was our first kid-free weekend in almost two months, and I was hoping for a nice date night. Instead, she picked up two shifts at work and then had a girls' night. Don't worry, she assigned me a massive deep clean that ate up almost my entire weekend. FML
Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 2
If it’s like that before marriage. It will only get worse after marriage. I would seriously have a conversation about this. good luck
GoogieWithers 25
A lot of things get ignored/put off when raising a child. If you both clean the house, then you will have a clean house to 'dirty'.
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Comments (4)
JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 2
If it’s like that before marriage. It will only get worse after marriage. I would seriously have a conversation about this. good luck
GoogieWithers 25
A lot of things get ignored/put off when raising a child. If you both clean the house, then you will have a clean house to 'dirty'.
Wadlaen 24
I think both will be good for the both of you and your relationship, and if you go for a quickie, you've got time to clean afterwards. Best of luck!
kebarringer 14
Yea, clean out deez nutz!!!!!