Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML
Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML
Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML
Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML
Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML
Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
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Top comments
ihavenolifehaha 16
He sounds really trashy
sweetbliss3 37
he sounds over dramatic. because he can't just do something nice and not act like a moron because you're married.
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Comments (113)
alitaba21fx 16
what an asshole
rocker_chick23 27
What a charming man. It is a complete shock that he is single. /s
Dcm210 19
And that's why you do things for yourself, not let anybody do it for you.
KingreX32 21
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Ellykay 17
Wow what an asshole
False_Stupidity 42
Sounds like the real trash was the one carrying the bag back. You should have asked him why there was trash outside of the bag.
Loboman 6
Just because a guy is nice to a girl doesn't mean he likes her. Guess again!
BananEnigma 24
Uh, orrrrrr it could be the fact that he did that for her SOLELY for the purpose of ASKING HER OUT...? Read much?
messymessiah 11
you should've grabbed it and tipped it over him
justinemalang1 14
HahahahahahhahahahahahhHhHahahahahHahahahahHahahahahahHhhHGhahahaha! Sorry.
chelseybella 10
Maybe he was going to make your husband take the trash out?