Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mad at my husband for slacking off on chores. I wanted help so we could both spend time with our daughters who were visiting. He was having a heart attack and didn't want to spoil the visit, so he kept quiet. I just got mad instead of noticing he was in pain. I'm a jerk. FML
Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, my husband came home and sat in his car out front for fifteen minutes. I went and knocked on the door, asking what he was doing. Apparently, I always dump so much shit on him the second he walks in the door that he needs a little peace between work and coming home to me. Ungrateful ass. FML
Today, I made the mistake of admitting to my husband that he was too perfect with the way he's always helping with cooking, cleaning and everything, and that it was starting to make me feel a little useless. He got mad and has now turned into the textbook definition of a lazy slob. I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. FML
Today, my husband and I were having an argument over accidentally leaving a to-go container of leftovers at a restaurant. He asked me why I didn’t remind him and I said that I forgot. He asked me, “What if you forgot to breathe one day? You’d die.” Then he kicked me out of the car and told me to walk home. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML
Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML
Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML
Today, the door handle on my car broke. Now I have to roll down the window and use the outside handle to get out. Not only is this annoying, but my girlfriend gets irrationally angry every time, and rants about how trashy it looks. I can't fucking help that the handle broke, babe. FML
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Top comments
SadisticPlatypi 6
I guess it's your turn to yell at him.
isallwaysme 27
but did you make an effort to remind him? or did you just sit there and watch him do the work before telling him to let you out?
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Comments (112)
SadisticPlatypi 6
I guess it's your turn to yell at him.
dingleberrysteve 6
luckily the marriage will be over shortly
zomgbies 17
Tell the lazy ass to ge it fixed! After he realizes he's an asshat
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
9- If you get divorced over something as simple as that, then please don't get married.
trulypar 34
I don't think the comments is that this argument will end the marriage, but him saying he regrets their whole marriage would seem a pretty good guess divorce is in the future.
abitabanana 8
Like, why was she not yelling? Whenever I'm inadvertently locked in the vehicle, I make it well known. Quickly.
Zebediabolical 45
#13 why can't OP take responsibility for getting the window fixed?
JesterJosh 5
Now I may be wrong but I doubt that one incident would lead to OP's husband to saying such things. I would say it's probably safe to say that there's a lot more going on then just not helping with groceries. You don't deserve it but you should be talking this out and neither of you should just be pointing fingers. When he started getting groceries you probably could've asked for him to let you out. Just saying.
Zebediabolical 45
My bad. Door, not window.
MasqueradePrince 25
I apologize that your husband would say that to you when he was at fault. -places a blue bandaid on you- hopefully that helps you feel better
MaryJaneUSA 4
He has some serious apologizing to do...
spoo 24
Or SHE does, if it was enough for him to make this audible, its very likely the straw that broke the camel's back. It might be a miss placed straw, but still enough. She also could have done something other than sitting there expecting to be waited on. If the delay was to the point of him being angry.. she should have taken SOME initiative either verbally, or knock, or something.
UnidentifiedFun 37
... Are you ******* stupid. Well I would think that she made some noise, but it would have been while her husband was taking groceries to the house. You literally sound sexist and like a complete utter imbecile.
Dragons_corner 6
So you call him stupid and sexist because he point out that we don't know the whole story and but it in another point of view? Maybe you should rethink what you said you stated "you think" but yet you don't know and call him stupid and sexist. I think you might be what you called him.
isallwaysme 27
but did you make an effort to remind him? or did you just sit there and watch him do the work before telling him to let you out?
isallwaysme 27
none if us have a background story. maybe OP is in fact very lazy all the time, doing half asked jobs, it gets irritating. or maybe the husband is a complete idiot. we can't jump to conclusions.
luckyone365 7
16, I agree with 20 about how big of an idiot you are.
trulypar 34
She may not have even gotten a chance to remind him before the yelling started. When she wasn't out of the car as quick as he was he may have made a snap judgment.
lb0812 18
If he were a gentleman, he would have opened her door regardless of the handle situation.
isallwaysme 27
65, i dont ALWAYS open the door for my girlfriend.. unless its a special occasion. but not every time, (dropping her off at school, dropping her off back home) doesn't not make me a gentleman
Supa15 8
What if she was a murderer? Would it make him a gentleman to release potential danger into the open world, should he swing by the closest jail, "be a gentleman" and open the door for all of the prisoners?
DocBastard 40
Damn it woman, why didn't you crawl through the window?? Everyone knows that!
zRatio 6
Most americans cant fit thru a window
Welshite 40
I beg to differ. I can easily fit through windows with dimensions of a couple meters.
False_Stupidity 42
But dukes of hazard teaches the rest of the world that this is how Americans get in and out of cars all the time! ... The TV never lies right?
DocBastard 40
zRatio - And most morons can't use punctuation. One of us is correct. Your prospects don't look good.
wallandpiece 16
29 & 34 *whispers* I think it was a joke.. There's no need to get upset..
kelseythompson 27
America is fat jokes are annoying and even if you are fat you should be able to fit through a window depending really, on how fat you are.. I think the bigger issue would be having the arm strength to pull yourself out haha
its_timmerrr 7
That's not true!! We are extremely fit people.. Not!
trulypar 34
If he turned off the car and they are power windows, she could not have opened them or crawled out.
IGaveRickUp 15
Where is it stated that OP's a woman?
squideth 18
Considering that the location is Texas and gay marriage is (unfortunately) not legal there, I'd say OP is a woman.
SneezyBear 27
#29 and #34, even though the joke was kind of offensive it's also sadly true :/ according to the CDC 70% of the US is overweight (including obese). So 70% (which would be most) Americans probably wouldn't fit through that car window...
michael666 7
wow zratio actually made a good reference, and I didn't know doc turned into a grammar nazi, looks like we lost another one.
RandomHavoc1 13
100, being overweight doesn't mean you magically grow twice your size. I'll admit, i could stand to lose one or two pounds. Or 15. I can still fit through a car Window.
unidentifieduser 23
Talk about an overreaction. What a dick.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yeah, dump him! (relax FMLers, I'm overreacting too)
Stylux_fml 16
I guess that wasn't a good way to handle the situation!
ManInTheMachine 20
Husband: "Dammit Martha, do I really need to ask you to help me with groceries before you get out I the ******* car!?" OP:"But the door's broke--" Husband:"Broken!? That's your excuse? The only thing that's broken is our marriage. I'm done putting up with your bullshit." *slams door and storms into house* OP:"...could you at least let me out?" But seriously, OP, it sounds like he either has a short fuse, there have been many miscommunications in your marriage, or you've done some things that he hasn't let go to let it build up to this point. Whichever one it is, you guys might need a marriage counsellor.
perdix 31
He probably wishes he married a woman who would kick the window out and let her own damn self out.
DocBastard 40
I somehow doubt it: ". . . had to let me out of the car." Reading is fundamental.
breakinlegs 19
Clearly, we need more back story. However it sounds like he is projecting how he is feeling on you. He may have cheated or done something similarly wrong and now he is taking that guilt our on you....
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
You acknowledge that we need more information, yet you still jump to an outrageous conclusion?