Today, I was excited to go to my new girlfriend’s house for dinner. To my horror, everything was out of a box or a can; Hamburger Helper, canned vegetables, boxed mashed potatoes. When I said I was hoping for something fresher, she just stared at me and asked if i know how expensive groceries are. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a friend invited me over for dinner. She presented me with a "gourmet" homemade meal. As I started eating, I realized it tasted… off. She looked at me expectantly, so I politely ate it all. Afterwards, she told me it was a new recipe she was trying "tuna casserole" made with canned tuna… which we found out later expired in 2015. FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over to her family’s house for dinner. Every dish was packed with onion, garlic, pepper, and some spices I couldn’t even identify. I couldn’t actually taste the meat or the side dishes. All the nuance had been obliterated. I think they might not have taste buds. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I spent a good deal of my afternoon preparing a nice dinner for my girlfriend. When I finally served the meal, I proudly presented her with a beautifully arranged plate of salmon. She looked at it and said, “You know I’m allergic to fish, right?” We had cereal for dinner instead. FML
Today, thanks to my wife’s obsession with expensive foods like chutney, relishes, exotic spices, and preserved foreign vegetables and herbs, I'm literally staring into a fridge full of glass jars, with a door that barely stays closed, and yet has nothing inside suitable to eat for my dinner. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML
Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Unless you’re Gordon Ramsay, be grateful she cooked for you. And maybe if it means that much to you, do what my fiancee did and teach her how to make the stuff you like.
mike3775 39
The first time my wife cooked for me, it was overcooked spaghetti noodles, runny water diluted ragu sauce, and burnt Texas toast out of a box. I told her it was good, as I had a long day and the fact that she even attempted to make me a dinner was appreciated. YDI
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Comments (6)
poopface82 25
Unless you’re Gordon Ramsay, be grateful she cooked for you. And maybe if it means that much to you, do what my fiancee did and teach her how to make the stuff you like.
mike3775 39
The first time my wife cooked for me, it was overcooked spaghetti noodles, runny water diluted ragu sauce, and burnt Texas toast out of a box. I told her it was good, as I had a long day and the fact that she even attempted to make me a dinner was appreciated. YDI
core01 30
That'd be the last time I cooked for you
sirrubberduckie 37
Oh gosh, how terrible for you that someone who cares about you took a bunch of time and effort to make something for you. Do you think you'll ever be able to recover? Do you have a GoFundMe I can contribute to, as you try to rebuild your life from this devastating tragedy?
DLBL 23
Thank you! What a miserable puke that complains about not only having food, like many people do NOT have, but having someone else provide it for free. I hate these "Princess and the Pea" ash poles.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
You're an ungrateful jerk. If you want certain food, cook it yourself. She was kind enough to go to the trouble of cooking you something in the first place. Maybe she has a busy schedule and if she lives alone it's easier to cook that way because that kind of stuff keeps a lot longer. If I were her, I wouldn't cook for you again.