Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML
Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML
Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to drop a bowling ball on your foot. Spoiler: It doesn't feel good. FML
Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
What a crushing story!
anorexicbarbie 8
It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
CanadianMuse 0
... And the Darwin award goes to ... OP! Seriously, spinning a bowling ball, which can weight anywhere from 9-15 pounds (that I've seen so far) is stupid. But doing so after a few beers? Seriously? Even though you found a new definition to the "nut cracker", and that physically sucks, you still deserve it big time.
indistructo 3
nature does it to stop reproduction so stupid genes arent passed on...
djxoebxoab 4
how'd you crush your nuts if u were standing up? I assume you were standing up...
freelove_fml 2
True, the only problem is that humanity would quickly become extinct.
pinkwarrior44 0
...Even if you're not drunk it's not the greatest idea to spin a freaking bowling ball on your finger...
aleithiera 2
hit hard enough and you can have your very own heavy shiny balls when you lose yours and get implants!
JokerJohn7 0
damn that must've hurt, normally I would say YDI for things like this, but no one should go through that kinda pain
ganash22 6
hahahahaahahahahaha thanks for the tip
3NVY 0
did anyone else read this In fry's voice haha
Brezhna 0
Holy shit. I'm not gonna unclench for a week after reading that.