Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML
Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML
Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to drop a bowling ball on your foot. Spoiler: It doesn't feel good. FML
Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
What a crushing story!
anorexicbarbie 8
It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?
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Comments (138)
justsayfuck 5
'Heavy shiny balls'? Ha, don't get cocky OP.
moosemonkey1000 6
you miss, are an idiot.
Blueglasscup 18
I found it pretty ******* funny:
justsayfuck 5
#41 If you didn't find it funny, all right then. If you thought I was being serious, then you can be the idiot.
NuxX 0
You to ! haz them big shiny balls ! /gaat verder koffie drinken.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
drunk bowling's the best! never did anything that stupid though
enonymous 9
Not all men can be the Harlem Globetrotters of bowling
nani11 0
ur beyond stupid.. im sure the ER, bowling place, & ur friends agree with me.. ha
jennifer93 0
wow...being drunk isn't even an excuse here :p
alex1432 9
sure it is, just a terrible one
JustinThunder 8
Really? It's bowling ball.. I don't see how anyone could be that stupid.
bingababe 16
Is it even physically possible to spin a bowling ball on you finger...?!
Blake4477 0
My guess is no!(:
OceanProtection 0
So... are you in your birthday suit in your picture or what? Help me out here
jklol11 0
r u serious? trying to spin a bowling ball on your finger can only lead to disaster. (exp. your FML OP)
xalerion 0
I don't see how op spun a bowling ball around on his finger unless he was using a 5 lb ball or something but even then you'd have to be moron to try it, bowling ball == basketball. if it was only a 5 lb ball, man up and grow a pair, it's hard to believe you're that slow, both mentally and physically, where you werent able to lessen any blow that may have been inflicted, and even if you are that slow (assuming you were sitting when this occurred because I see no other way for you to drop a bowling ball on your nuts other than being laid out flat on the ground), dropping a bowling ball about a foot onto your lap is no big deal. stop the whining and just walk it off. it's obvious you don't play sports. even if it was a heavier ball, it's hard to see how this would occur if you don't completely fail at life. so to recap, ydi for using too heavy a ball ydi it for doing it at all ydi it for being an idiot and ydi for being weak in more ways than one
CatEyes66 0
1) You're over thinking this post 2) Op was drunk 3) Who cares just laugh
ppatty 0
u put to much thought and not enough laghter
cookie_3008 4
You know that I didnt read your whole lecture, right?
agummere796 0
you need help......
benderbot19 0
didn't read it!
Fekenator 0
a bowling ball dropping a foot onto your sack is going to kiiiillllllllll. you must not have nuts or else you'd know that ;|
giggity29 0
whats ydi mean
Plywoodman 3
I'm not exactly sure what all the Meg comments to yours are, I agree fully it's impossible for even a drunk to drop a bowling ball that is easily the size of ones head onto their balls if they were standing. if your sitting down, it's only possible if you drop it and your not sitting like a normal person- how your sitting is probably some abnormal drunken yoga shit. srsly, I appreciate a good funny FML as much as the next guy but lamely thought out attempts at impossible ones like this are just annoying and detract from the truly funny ones. And I know EXACTLY what is possible while bring drunk and bowling. would have made more sense to sit down in front of the ball return and been nutted...
Plywoodman 3
that was neg, short for negative (-not Meg)for you grammar and spelling police out there who prey on those posting from iPhones with auto correct.
technicallyhuman 0
which ball are you referring to as heavy shinny balls? cause if it's one of the opitions you might want to have the doc check that out. I hear docbastard might have a look for you
Blake4477 0
However I don't suggest the dr. who enjoys sniffing his patients pee!
dayve 0
Cringy.