Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we had an emergency lockdown drill. The closest room to me was the bathroom, so I rushed in and went into one of the stalls like I was supposed to, only to find out that a girl in the stall next to me was shitting. And it didn't seem like she was going to be done anytime soon. FML
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
Today, after eating some fire noodles the day before, I took a nice long poop in my school's bathroom, only to find out there was no toilet paper left in any of the stalls. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML
Today, since I had no lessons until 1 p.m., I headed out to the store to run errands. Our school has a strict policy against leaving the campus during school hours. I returned to a fire drill taking place. The fire assembly point? The student parking lot. All 900 students watched me drive in. FML
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Top comments
whatsernam3 3
at least you get a two day vacation:)
Timmo_fml 2
I'm gonna guess he took a dump at school so he didn't shit his pants.
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Comments (140)
Sicarri 2
Hahaha bad luck bro, next time learn to shit in a hurry lol
ajd1992 13
You shit at school? You deserve to be suspended. Nobody ***** at school.
xJO_DIEx 0
Why the **** would you go to the school toilets? Are you retarded or something? And why dont u just say "Shit", instead of dump, ******* Geek.
Timmo_fml 2
I think you're the ******* retarded one. ******** in a school toilet is much better than ******** in your own pants. Unless, like you, you like the feeling of shit dripping down your leg. Pipe down.
anorexicbarbie 8
Look at him capitalizing the word "****", it's like he's a big macho man now.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Umadbro?
tess_the_dreamer 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
this makes me laugh at how idiotic it sounds..... man. I've never met an idiot like this before. I guess that's because all the idiots at my school have the decency to shit in the bathrooms.
tess_the_dreamer 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
this makes me laugh at how idiotic it sounds..... man. I've never met an idiot like this before. I guess that's because all the idiots at my school have the decency to shit in the bathrooms.
bbycakesb 0
lmao sorry but this is just funny. enjoy your vacation :)
Metu 1
You didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump? Try taking a dump on your teacher's desk.
Team_Los 0
wow I'd rather shit on myself then use my schools toilets
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Congrats. You just got burned alive b/c you couldn't force a finish, pinch it off, wash your hands quickly, and get out of there. YDI for being in school. YDI for taking dumps.
hectik_Lyfe 0
that is both a FAIL and a LMFAO moment
Barrientos432 5
I hate it when people just sit on the toilet during a fire alarm. Clip that shit short, and run.
iFollowTrollz 0
YDI for using the bathroom YDI for being at school YDI for not knowing what to do during the firedrill