Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had an emergency lockdown drill. The closest room to me was the bathroom, so I rushed in and went into one of the stalls like I was supposed to, only to find out that a girl in the stall next to me was shitting. And it didn't seem like she was going to be done anytime soon. FML
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
Today, after eating some fire noodles the day before, I took a nice long poop in my school's bathroom, only to find out there was no toilet paper left in any of the stalls. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML
Today, since I had no lessons until 1 p.m., I headed out to the store to run errands. Our school has a strict policy against leaving the campus during school hours. I returned to a fire drill taking place. The fire assembly point? The student parking lot. All 900 students watched me drive in. FML
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Top comments
whatsernam3 3
at least you get a two day vacation:)
Timmo_fml 2
I'm gonna guess he took a dump at school so he didn't shit his pants.
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Comments (140)
y_nd_e 0
lol,, couldn't you hold until after the fire drill?? Damn, and they sum b*ches 4 suspending you for that imean it wasn't a real fire anyway, that's retarded.
Kyousho 0
YDI for not leaving, it could've been a real fire ._.
zackkmann21 0
wtf who goes shit at school
Notamerican 0
Bravo OP. There's a story on a hilarious suspension!
Peytonlikesme 0
I'm taking a dump rite now!!! Hahahahaah! Eat my poo
Richisme 0
my house has three bathrooms so i have a variety to dump.
lolipop3344 0
try having a real lockdown drill while u have explosive diaria :o
overtheworld 0
i have a really hard time believing you since school is done. it's summer break, get it right.
FML191919 3
Umm schools over..... FAKE
Jessicaa96145 0
97- I know many schools that have recently started. most people I chat with on here or myyearbook are in school ATM but me.