Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
LizetteBerenice 22
Asshole
Wizardo 34
The double standards in this post blows, seriously get a load of this dick...
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Comments (210)
sabine123_fml 5
No eat no suck
graphicstyle7 17
This is a serious deal breaker and shows he has a double standard for the relationship. DTMFA (look it up)
BigOrca 2
I'll go down on you.
souchi64_fml 2
ditch the asshole!
blackonblight 33
I hope you repeated what he said in a mocking tone. What's good for gander is good for goose after all.
TheBurdenOfLife 9
I bet he puts his Weiner in the vacuum cleaner.
TheBurdenOfLife 9
Since he called it a *******, blow
faireanjell 5
Then the answer to him is " no that's disgusting...
TheBurdenOfLife 9
I honestly think oral sex is gross, whether on a guy or a girl. But if he expects you to do it, then he shouldn't have a problem doing that for you.
Acid_monkey 2
I agree your life sucks....Literally.