Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
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Top comments
ScratchCatPower 32
Your girlfriend needs to work on timing. That wasn't a very good time to bring up a topic that seems to have been controversial between you two. On the bright side, at least now you can sleep on the couch.
Tripartita 45
Dos she often refer to herself in the third person? If so, you might've dodged a bullet.
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Comments (33)
Tripartita 45
Dos she often refer to herself in the third person? If so, you might've dodged a bullet.
Tripartita 45
For those wondering why this was upvoted, the FML originally read: Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said "she wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML After playing a bit of spot-the-difference, you too can smirk slightly at the inane comment I made!
Jared900DUmpling 30
Ever since you successfully captioned that one picture fml ive been seeing you everywhere dude lol
Tripartita 45
Sounds like the frequency illusion (Baader-Meinhof phenomenon) which is a cognitive bias where you seem to see something more frequently after becoming familiar with it. Despite the fact that I've been commenting regularly for much longer than that photo FML went up, you only recently became aware of my username or picture, and now you seem to see me everywhere. Brains are weird, eh?
Jared900DUmpling 30
Yea that is strange. Sounds like exactly what you're talking about.
ZombieSazza 34
I've seen Tripartita around for a while, always making hilarious comments. He's a bloody genius.
ZombieSazza 34
I've seen Tripartita around for a while, always making hilarious comments. He's a bloody genius.
ZombieSazza 34
I've seen Tripartita around for a while, always making hilarious comments. He's a bloody genius.
ScratchCatPower 32
Your girlfriend needs to work on timing. That wasn't a very good time to bring up a topic that seems to have been controversial between you two. On the bright side, at least now you can sleep on the couch.
chosha_fml 27
She needs to talk, but after a 16hr shift, does she think you can properly listen?
saffy66 34
Maybe she should have gone to sleep on the couch instead. She sounds somewhat selfish.
wrongmove 11
Pretty much my thoughts.
Mathalamus 25
i would have asked her to wait until after i was done sleeping (or resting), then i would listen to her hearts content. or, i would suck it up and listen anyway, telling her that i may not be in top form, due to the long shift.
it___happens 12
Drink that caffeine
emeraldarcher74 30
I'd say ignore her and get some well-deserved sleep. Tell her you'll see her tomorrow.
ssnow_fml 20
Those are words no one wants to hear from their significant other.
rockeditionbarbi 14
She deserves a punch in the boobs
scyth3s 13
Your comment is quite stupid. Aggression does not have to be directed at members of the opposite sex.
Sanguinairius 33
I've never understood the making someone sleep on the couch shenanigans. I was always told never go to bed angry, but I have never been made, nor ever made my other sleep elsewhere, if they didn't want to. Being emotionally upset and irritable is no excuse to cast someone out. Plus, most of the times one lays down instead of leaving, even if you lay in the quiet and give each other the silent treatment, by morning, there's a higher chance you'll have spoken about it or cooled off. Better still, You make-up by realizing despite being mad, or your wounded pride, you still love the insufferable twit. Even while you glare daggers at their back, before long you end up cuddling and muttering apologies to each other. These are of course best case scenarios, I just don't see the reasoning for either party pulling such a tactic unless there's aggression or violence. TL;DR: Your GF and you need to work on communication. Goodluck!