Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
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Top comments
tykatdesigns 13
Must of been a pretty dank fart yo
maximus_prime 24
Maybe she thought it smelt like good shit.
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Comments (63)
ForeverJasmine 26
You smell like a skunk when you fart? Ugh dude you have to eat some fiber and clean your system out if it smells that bad..
mojobanks 8
Marijuana enema?
vikky538 29
you gonna be a real hit in a pub...just fart and people get high...
lildiva7620 18
wtf is her problem
snarkytruth 37
Hope it doesn't become a chronic problem.
usernamelost 13
Haha. Sorry for laughing OP, but you should follow her around the house farting in every room she goes in lol.
Steve95401 49
What are you eating that is causing your farts to smell so bad?
zenrael 21
Nah it's the pot brownies exitting your system.
G3ICO 12
Grounded? Really? I would've got my ass beat lol
xluciferx666 21
Have her drug test you unless you actually smoke weed then you would even more screwed. Anyways good luck
Spyderbane 10
*Test results, Ecstasy - positive, Opiates - positive , Marijuana - negative, Phencyclidine - positive, Cocaine - positive, Methamphetamine - positive, Amphetamines - positive* See mom I didn't do pot!