Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
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Top comments
tykatdesigns 13
Must of been a pretty dank fart yo
maximus_prime 24
Maybe she thought it smelt like good shit.
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Comments (63)
buckdharma 38
In all my experiences when someone says,"truth is," they're lying. I don't have a doubt you cut what you think is some really weird cheese, but it's because you high op. Now go to your room.
hsbzjsnsos 12
What the hell did you eat?
thatcoolguy123 14
What the **** did you eat? Just have her drug test you...
thawny_fml 21
"How do you know what weed smells like?" Checkmate.
ViviMage 40
Do a blood test. Prove that there's no drugs in the system
blindkid1790 12
You could have asked her, how she knows what weed smells like.
Jaevwyn 17
Smoking it is better than eating it OP
mjansing 4
did you eat any special brownies?
exuberant_orange 17
You should just pull an incredulous look and go "MOM?! HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT WEED SMELLS LIKE?!" Granted, this could probably backfire... XD Good luck OP!
patrickalamo 48
Pay for a pee test, prove her wrong