Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
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Top comments
VonHoolio 1
How is this an fml? At least they didn't care. Just making sure you were safe.
FortuneFaded 0
Haha, awkward.
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Comments (91)
Cristaderzi 0
Geez how disrespectful you having sex in your parents house!!! Mine would've knocked me into last decade!!
xNephilim 19
What's the big deal about it? I'm pretty damn sure the parents have sex in the house too. It's not like sex is something ridiculously dirty and I'd rather have my kid having sex in my house, where I know they're safe than having to bail them out of jail for public sex!
MotherRussia 0
2 words: Hotel Room.
davidhasmorefun 0
those are awesome parents
dante0220 0
lmfao
Thund3rStruck_fml 0
Don't have sex while you're family is there. that's inconsiderate. my brother does that to me (has sex while I'm at home) and it's disgusting.
turtleface 0
haha
g3rusz 6
When we rephrase it as "Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were at home, and they didn't get mad at me. FML", it's even less of an FML than the original post...
bonesbaby 0
Why are you checking your text messages and having sex? I assume you where still doing the dirty because you said "a few minutes later" unles your a minute man; so in either case FYL;)
holaworld 0
hahahaha
teacher411 0
Hey at least your parents got your back!