Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, my girlfriend pawned in her mother's engagement ring so she could gamble at the pokies. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
Join her, the value of gold only keeps rising!
j4gerb0mblitz 6
Well you came for the booty didn't you?
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Comments (142)
Mideoyeo 12
Imagine if she actually finds gold!! Plus, even if she doesn't find gold she may find oil and it IS in her own backyard so its ok.
peachyFML 17
Though I doubt she'd dig deep enough for oil... ;)
Mideoyeo 12
Maybe she's a determined one :P
LuckyLynx7732 5
Just let her do it. If she hits a gas main, maybe she'll learn a lesson.
AugustBurnsToast 14
Girlfriend: (Digs, wipes brow, digs some more) OP: Hun?...hun? Girlfriend: Will...get to go on...shopping spree.
WitchyWife667 5
But then she will leave all her new stuff on the train and all that work will be for nothing.
Jordyn345 4
Well played...well played...
ryankon518 3
Arrrgh! May she'll share with ye her booty...
drunkandfml 11
Still better than picking her nose
Randomfalla 4
Greedisgood 999999
tigrouficele2012 44
What a gold-digger.
perdix 31
That's Plan A. If that doesn't, ... ahem ... pan out, she'll resort to Plan B: Marry you for your money.
MrFuzzles 5
At least she's got her mind on the money! And if she did strike gold wouldn't you feel stupid? I mean... I live in jersey too so if you do find gold let your ol pal MrFuzzles know!
brandy1 5
Tell your genius girlfriend that if she digs deep enough, she might find seeds to a money tree. Then she can plant them and be rich. Then when she not around, buy a small tree and plant it. She'll be amazed. Then in a few days, you tape some dollar bills to the leaves and you'll probably get sex for a week straight. When she asks you why there are only $1 bills growing tell her she only found the cheapest seed and to keep digging.
brackaman 18
But that would make you a terrible person... Well, I'm on my way to try this on my gf.
brackaman 18
Although I suppose in the end the jokes on me. She's gotten exercise, while I've wasted my time and money on a stupid tree. And in the end she's still got the money.