Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, after a bad head cold, my boyfriend woke up, shambled to the bathroom and sniffled. He then pulled the biggest booger I've ever seen out of his nose; it looked like a giant slug. He took a picture, then set it as his lock screen. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
Could have been worse. She could have been feeding it to a secret lover.
zalittleman 11
She didnt share? How rude!
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Comments (82)
zalittleman 11
She didnt share? How rude!
iLike2Teabag 27
Of course she didn't share. She's a gold digger. If I were OP I'd "holla we want pre-nup".
jojimugo 20
#12 huh??
SarahSehhati 40
but in a way she does share when she kisses him :)
nix1993 41
#28 You know how when kids are like aggressively picking their nose, people sometimes say 'are you digging for gold?' (or sometimes 'treasure') I think #12 was trying to make a joke about that.
foxwasalamb 24
12 is also referencing the song "gold digger" i got it #12
Turtle_Man 21
#12, I think they call it 'pop music'
dumpless 13
Oh that's nasty *cleavland voice*
LexiDaBae 17
"Ya nasty." *Raven Symone Voice*
barbsillvy 10
I also saw my soon to be ex husband eating his booger, I think he forgot I was in the car with him...it was not very easy to kiss him after that... Yuck!
ahabsfan 17
Could have been worse. She could have been feeding it to a secret lover.
Nexpecto 28
Takes "snowballing" to a whole new level. Frogger anyone?
Kooppliii 8
It could be way worse, like the first time I read it and thought it said booner instead of booger...
RollingCakes 21
Brain bleach is always nice
KaneHunter 22
I know I'll need it after reading this FML (no offense to OP)
supertacowaffle 41
What was her reaction when you saw?
CoGhostRider 31
She probably just kept chewing since he moved two states over found a new job and never called her again.
CoGhostRider 31
At least, that's what I would have done.
15Erik 21
It's not that easy to move two states over in the UK....
devildog562 33
That really sucks you were locked outside. Oh and that you kiss a booger with a girl behind it .
daneyboy 11
Why didn't you knock?
RedPillSucks 33
"as I was about to knock"
sweetbliss3 37
extra protein, what's the problem? *gags*
devildog562 33
I mean I know eating boogers builds immunity up, but so does a good diet and exercise.
giantsfan2010 23
Digging a huge booger I can understand, but eating it?? That's nasty!!
mu89 4
I will start off saying that I am not condoning what she did, but... There have been studies on the matter that show ingesting your own mucus can help boost your immune system.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
There are plenty of ways to boost your immune system than eating your own mucus. I'm sure that's true, but it's one thing I'll never do. Talk about disgusting!
Dekat121 24
#69 is completely correct, also mucus from your nose is exactly the same as the mucus in your mouth, just dried up from all the air. also just for more gross factor, mucus from your nose is going down your throat of every second of every day.
PenguinBitch 44
I ain't saying she's a gold digger.