Today, I went on a date. Met the guy at the restaurant, everything seemed to be going OK, but then he spent the entire dinner talking about Pokemon GO, and wouldn't let me say a word. He suddenly stops talking, gets up, says he, "doesn't feel a connection" and leaves. I had to pay the bill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
Today, during a Tinder date, the guy spent a solid hour talking about the Tinder date he went on yesterday with someone else. Honestly, I only stayed to the end because the restaurant was excellent. The guy was actually confused when I split the bill and didn’t want to have sex with him. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I met on a dating site. We hit it off, until he noticed the MAGA sticker on the back of my phone. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and never came back. I had to pay for both meals and explain to the waiter why I was practically crying into my bowl of noodles. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy I met online. After 30 minutes, he abruptly stands up and says he has to leave. He practically ran out of Starbucks to get away from me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who kept checking his phone every five minutes. When I asked him if everything was okay, he told me he was just playing Candy Crush. FML
Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Inkoseh 33
He's probably with Team Rocket and needed the free meal. Giovanni doesn't pay well!
wheresthesafety 31
A lure probably ran out
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
Inkoseh 33
He's probably with Team Rocket and needed the free meal. Giovanni doesn't pay well!
cheshireau 26
This gave me a chuckle. Thank you, I needed it :)
Shadowvoid 33
Well at least he would (Pokemon) Go away so you never have to Go on another date with them.
The12thPaladin 8
You tried.
MrSassypants 34
I felt like your first instinct was to try for a pun, but I commend your valor to attempt one.
lui_pg 21
This comment is mystical
Shadowvoid 33
I mystically ****** up. P.S. TEAM BLUE!
cj89898 24
About as good as Hillary's pun.
crudeandrudeguy 29
I think your date went as good as it could have considering who you were with. No class
captain_hero89 22
That's why I am dating a girl that plays the game more than I do. That way we can both talk about it and avoid making an FML
askullnamedbilly 33
He didn't let OP say anything, so I'm not sure how that would've helped.
vinnie_boombotz 15
OP used Pay Day... Coins scattered everywhere! Bad Date ran away!
wheresthesafety 31
A lure probably ran out
_Desiderata_ 9
What a jerk! Good riddance! Btw, I wouldn't be surprised if he left that abruptly to catch Pokemon nearby...
TheBiggerBoot 7
So he's a jerk but OP who left his wallet and date had to pay dodged a bullet. Huh.
InfiniteSunshine 32
What?
gichikku 14
#10 you read it wrong. The guy is a jerk because he was the one who got up and left leaving OP to pay the bill. Also, he did not let the OP talk at all.
domolovesyoshi 33
Wtf are you on about?
GeeThatSucks 9
#10. Reading can be hard. Don't worry, you'll get better at it
_Desiderata_ 9
In #10's defense, s/he is referring to a different FML where OP (a guy) forgot his wallet and his date freaked out on him, so people were saying good riddance because his date was insensitive, unreasonable, etc. In both these situations, the guy did not pay. However, in this FML we consider him a jerk, whereas in the other FML people mostly considered him the "victim". I think #10 was trying to say that we pick different sides depending on the situation and that somehow it isn't fair. However, my response is that every situation is different and you can't compare them just because of minor similarities (in this case, guys who don't pay) because the differences tend to outweigh the similarities. Hence, we will react in very different ways. Hope that clears things up!
Awesomeness324 7
Says the bastard with a sexualized flower as a profile picture.
Tripartita 45
Ah, men like him give me hope! Hope that I won't be the worst date some poor sod has. "Alright, now what can we order to ensure our bill comes out to be a multiple of five dollars?" "What? Why would yo—" "Hey, at least I'm not talking about Pokémon Go nonstop and abruptly leaving you with the bill!"
Whywouldyoudotha_fml 9
What about multiples of six, will you compromise on that? Also, I feel like I'd have a lot of fun with you trying to make the receipt end up like that. Can you even it off with a tip?
Tripartita 45
Multiples of… SIX?! I—you—it…You've got me all worked up just thinking about such a thing. This… this isn't appropriate!
andrmac 25
Well I guess he'd rather play with his pokeballs by himself.
JamalAtTheStore 5
Did you expect him to pay?
InfiniteSunshine 32
No, she probably either expected them to split it, they pay for their own orders, or in some cases, the one who asked for the date is the one who pays. If the guy asked her out, I can understand her thinking he'd be the one to pay. In any case though, the guy was a dick, not letting her speak, talking about just one topic, then abruptly leaving making her pay for everything, that's not right. If he was going to leave early because he wasn't feeling anything, that's fine, but he could have been more polite about it, and the least he could do is pay for his half.