Poopoo peepee, Clothes Animals Customized - FML

Customized

gss - - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

27 531

2 287

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Glade

stinkystinky -

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

13 955

968

Close encounters

Pinkie - - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

29 308

2 724

Surprising

Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

2 108

311

Brain fog

FlyingCoffeeMonster - - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

13 066

3 233

Bad boy

Shiva - - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

48 800

9 680

Creeped out

NotASpiderMan - - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

21 973

6 227

Jump scare

izzy46111 - - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

39 493

5 323

Tasty

chew toy - - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

4 570

968

Compacted

RatFailure - - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

32 964

3 864

Never enough

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

42 226

3 954

ericwashere 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:17

Thats what you get for not living in an ice fortress

BBGxBlondie 6

Monday 19 September 2011 16:32

Nobody HAS to say it. You CHOSE to make an ass out of yourself.

Snickahs 0

Monday 19 September 2011 17:17

It's both. Love and shit stains.

LonggUsernameee 0

Monday 19 September 2011 17:17

I hate it when that happens. ):

Damn_Hippster 11

Monday 19 September 2011 17:18

Since when were squirrels domesticated enough to use litter boxes?

Keyman1212 14

Monday 19 September 2011 17:19

OP might be able to wash the **** out of that hoodie...

monkeys1315 0

Monday 19 September 2011 17:20

Make your dad buy you a new one

ikickgingers 15

Monday 19 September 2011 17:21

17 - true story

twinny_sc 13

Monday 19 September 2011 17:35

You didn't notice a squirrel in your closet?

SCREAM4meeee 0

Monday 19 September 2011 17:40

And you weren't able to smell the squirrel droppings ?

madskittlesftw 5

Monday 19 September 2011 17:52

I find it hard to believe OP didn't hear the squirrel or anything. But that's one stinky situation op (:

OsirisFaction_fml 5

Monday 19 September 2011 17:56

That's sexy.

1
2
3
4
5

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went for a trial shift somewhere perfect for me to work. I knew loads about the place and how they worked. The trial shift went really well. Not even two hours after my shift, they rang to tell me I'd lost out to someone who swore at a customer. FML

9 414

601

Today, I finally got insurance after months of paperwork, and so I went to the doctor. I was billed $873 for a "consultation" that pretty much consisted of being weighed and told to "Google it." FML

315

49

Today, I had a brain fart moment while asking out a cute guy. I meant to say, "When are you going to let me take you out for coffee?” but what actually came out of my mouth was, “When are you going to let me do you?” He turned bright red and I ran away, and I’m too scared to go back. FML

766

315

Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML

907

193

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

34 339

6 326

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

64 498

11 879