Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML
Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML
Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my so-called friend snitched to the teachers that I was the admin of the school confessions page and I got scolded after school. FML
Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Aciliveth 5
You let your kid get a week's worth of detention because you won't admit it was you? Some parent you are. Your kid's gonna be pissed at you, and you deserve all of it.
Bangarang_Rufio 0
you're a dick.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (551)
markasstrick 0
hopefully your son will remember how important your dignity is when he pitches you in a nursing home the first second he can. I sure would. remember your dignity when your munching on cream corn and getting your diapers changed asshole
lovesucksxxx 0
^haha I love this guy.
icertainlysuck 0
361 gets the best comment ever award
apriljrdn 0
BAHAHAHA TRUE THAT.
markasstrick 0
oh yeah, learn to write.
iHateUserNames45 0
You're one step closer to a screwed up kid...
chrismace 11
What is wrong with you I can't believe you would let the teacher think it was your son. You know you might have a worse kind now, because he night think well I'm gonna get blamed for things I don't do anyway what's the point in behaving.
Music_rocks 7
OP, why did you do that? You had a perfect moment to make the teacher squirm in their seat and it would have been an "FML" for them. Your handwriting may be bad, but it's better than making your child get in trouble for doing nothing wrong. Call in to his teachers classroom and explain what happened, it may be more embarrassing than if you'd just told the truth in the first place but do it for your son.
Justblue 0
And the winner of this years worst parent award goes to...ding ding ding YOU. Pathetic excuse for a parent...ugh. I hope your child surpasses you and eventually forgets about you when you need help.
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
Please, do the world a favor, and kill yourself.
ArtandLove 0
You're a jerk, you know.
TheMusicNote18 0
Actually, because you did this to your son and posted it online, you have no dignity. And a son that hates you, so you lose.
sapphielily 12
You are a pathetic excuse for a parent, what are you going to do when this keeps happening? Keep getting your child in trouble? I hope your kid grows up to hate you, you pos.