Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML
Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML
Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my so-called friend snitched to the teachers that I was the admin of the school confessions page and I got scolded after school. FML
Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML
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Top comments
Aciliveth 5
You let your kid get a week's worth of detention because you won't admit it was you? Some parent you are. Your kid's gonna be pissed at you, and you deserve all of it.
Bangarang_Rufio 0
you're a dick.
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Comments (551)
WarriPengoo 0
lmao, I love you posted this online thinking you would get sympathy for screwing up ur sons life. I just can't stop laughing at how sad ur life is xDD YDI fucktard :) PS Tell ur son I'm sorry he has such a prissy dad :)
onceupop 0
THE **** IS WRONG WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE! THIS IS FUNNY! This sounds like something my dad would do and my life isn't ****** nor do I hate my dad. And this site is for funny things. People who post here to get sympathy are people where this sentence applies really to: "I just can't stop laughing at how sad ur life is xDD" All these americans should understand that some things shouldn't be taken seriously and go complain on tv-shows like Dr. Phill (that show is really funny lol) that their life is screwed because their lazy as hell and then blame it on their parents.
HannahHarlequin 0
Wow. **** you.
musicalfireflies 0
Way to teach your kid to blame others for his own actions, asshole
carodancer77 0
Your kid will hate you as long as he lives.
klio_fml 0
What the **** is wrong with you?
F_edUpExsistence 0
As harsh as the commenters are, they do have a point. What you did was cowardly and unbefitting of a parent. letting your son take the blame, that is low. you have lost your son's respect and he may resent you for choosing your pride over him. Make amends by confessing your failure and your relationship might still be salvageable.
jma1123 0
great parent . /: poor kid .
Ranoona 0
congrats you just got the worst parent of the year award. I seriously can't believe someone would do that to their own kid. I feel sorry for the kid to have a parent like you .
01phoenix 0
FML: I'm a 6yr old stuck in lunch detention for a week because I have a parent that lied about their handwriting and posted it. Can't wait to pull the plug.
mrtrixxxter 0
you sir/madam are a pig.