Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML
Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML
Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my so-called friend snitched to the teachers that I was the admin of the school confessions page and I got scolded after school. FML
Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML
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Top comments
Aciliveth 5
You let your kid get a week's worth of detention because you won't admit it was you? Some parent you are. Your kid's gonna be pissed at you, and you deserve all of it.
Bangarang_Rufio 0
you're a dick.
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Comments (551)
Bullshet 0
This is just sad in so many ways.
jewelzgalore 0
Omg you're such a BITCH! I'm so glad you're not my mother.
captainmaharet 1
Parenting fail.
Starsmydog 0
people like you shouldn't have ******* kids. What the **** is wrong with you? I hope your kid throws broken glass into your eyes.
punchuinthejeans 0
this was funny on many levels
dihgo 0
such a great example. don't expect anything about this kid, mr. Dignity
Ibeapirate 0
You realize that you can never, ever punish your kid for anything until you admit what you did, right? And even then, you're basically screwed for life, because he's NEVER going to forget it. ever. Enjoy his teenage years.
MiniatureMayhem 0
FAIL
artisticlicense 0
You disgust me. How could you do that to your own child? And to think you found it story-worthy enough to post up on FML, which just goes to show you're not even ashamed. You don't deserve to be a parent.
shaerbear00 0
Well, hate to break it to you, but after posting this on FML, that dignity you're relying on so much is shot. So the end result is that your hand writing still sucks, you don't have your dignity, and your son is probably wondering why his mom didn't come to his defense at the time when she should have, thus ruining his credibility at school with his teachers and ruining his confidence in you as a mother. Oh, and you've got thousands of people who, after reading that post, believe you to be the scum of the earth and despise you incredibly. ...so, actually, yea lol, F your life.