Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML
Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
808Boyo 4
You should have said, “Nah, I just stopped by to say **** you! "
boomsl4ng 11
Thats really mean tbh! What an idiot! But why didnt u text her back asking where would u go and stuff? Fyl
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Comments (84)
imepelepticsir 5
its an explaination not a comeback.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
What a bitch!
arttyruiz 7
She may have texted the wrong person... Maybe that's why the FML was posted...
illoveyouu435 0
cos she knows she texted someone and realising the the person she meant to text wasnt there she wanted to make sure it wasnt him (in which case "did i text you" becomes "did i text YOU?")
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Didn't you respond to her text? It might of cleared up some misguided messages. But either way that's rough. Look at the bright side, prostitutes don't need dinner and a movie to get to second base.
kemando 22
Thats when you say "yes you did"
devpwnz 1
You should learn to spit.
chlorinegreen 27
Couldn't she just look out the door and see her car is not on fire? If its in the garage he wouldn't of saw the car. The house would be on fire and I'm pretty sure she would know about that.
NerdyLily 0
That's gotta hurt. But don't worry, you'll find someone. :)
MrSwagger 0
Damn dude
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Dude what is that in your pic? Whale penis?