Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time… while they were bailing us out of jail. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML
Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
"Don't worry, he's yelling at my brother who is talking to my mom."
DameGreyWulf 1
Hm, high school... chances are your father is right.
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Comments (149)
delfinofrank 0
Why are German men so obsessed with sex??????????????????????????
The_Pleb 0
Wtf are you all on about!?!?! who cares if theres no substance (well there will be at the end of the day) Course shes a *****, its high school but who gives a shit really!?!? O and i rate girls, its fun thankyou
perdix 31
Because they are men. Next question.
pikantna777 0
Where'd you get that from? The story sounds pretty universal to me... BTW, what is "*****" in German?
darkheart88 0
#81 - My dictionary tells me 'Hure' :P
Eddie_Paints 0
His Father is a Swienhund!!
DameGreyWulf 1
Hm, high school... chances are your father is right.
around_the_world 0
yeah the dad's right. Defnitely since all the OP said was "hottest" girl. There's no substance in whatever comes out of it.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Parents know best. Next time, don't go for the hottest girl
raptorjebus 0
sun kissed are you saying we should go for you instead?
PenguinBitch 44
That was harsh.
Wet_Dream 0
hahahahaha sex is nicee try it delfino guy
perdix 31
"Don't worry, he's yelling at my brother who is talking to my mom."
drinkupgorgeous 0
Good lord this made me laugh so hard.
TooBored13 0
Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off. (Comment was so good it deserved rotflmao written out)
JinxSNC 0
oh god #4 is full of win I laughed so damn hard
Rainbowjumper0 12
Oh my god LMFAO!!!
Brighton_Cruz 20
pffttt lololol lmao!!!
DollyMolly 0
Are you going out with her only because she's attractive? YDI
MagicMeds 0
Is he in high school? Yes. That's what you're supposed to do at that age since it's the only time you really can without missing out.
iwadasn 33
In high school, you're "supposed to" date people based solely on looks? How about learning how not to be immature and shallow?
Dingan 0
Totally misread "shallow" for "swallow" there, heh..
musiclovr27 1
I did too!!!
Starfire22 5
major **** block
joey1707 0
Haha. My dad would do the same thing.
The_Advice_Guy 0
"Not until she's coated in aggressive amounts of semen!"
dudeitsdanny 10
Win
americayay 0
Agreed #2. I doubt he'd assume that based on absolutely nothing.
judge_Fred 0
Ouch! what a burn!