Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, after laying down to sleep, my boyfriend seemed like he was having trouble trying to say something. After asking what was wrong a couple of times, he said, "I don't want to do this anymore" and got up and left. I had planned on telling him I love him. Saved myself some embarrassment I guess. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the second time. He's really nice, but he's terrible in bed. He busted a nut 3 times before I could orgasm once, and he can't finger to make up for it. His foreplay is trash. I'm starting to lose feelings for him because of the lack of sexual satisfaction. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I swear to the Mighty FML Deity, everyone who says "Dump him" gets my foot up their asses. What he did is called "communication" and it's vital to a relationship, especially when it comes to sex. I applaud him for actually having the balls to tell you. How else are you going to learn to stop acting like a corpse during sex?
eternalsunlight 5
So try a new position. Cowgirl should do the trick.
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Comments (201)
trippythehippy 6
First I agree with doc. Give the guy credit for telling you. Second, spice it up. Try new positions, don't fake or force anything, but show him how your enjoying it. If your not, show him how to. Relax, and enjoy yourself! Push back when he's pounding you from.... Ok you get the point. And more down votes here I come!
rebel_belle1974 5
add a 3rd person
unknown_user5566 27
So two people can be unsatisfied with her lackluster lovemaking?
natameow 7
Omg you are such a mean person like who are you to talk to ppl like that?
unknown_user5566 27
24- Why are you on this site? You seem to be single-handedly murdering any hint of humor that pops up on the post. Are you the OP or something? You're taking everything way too personal.
Virginia6810 16
For some reason natameow seems to be targeting you kylee... This isnt the first time she has "attacked" you on this particular FML. Natameow... Chill.
ohSNAPyall 27
Too awkward for the couple having sex in front of the corpse.
gc327072 31
I heard Kama sutra is an ebook now... Read up!
ProtectTheVibe 2
ya gonna have to say YDI. You gotta move around sex is a 2 person ride. A couple girls I know are like that if you're not trying it feels awkward.
vincelu09 11
Takes a lot of guts to stop, pull-out and tell you the truth. Could have been worse. He could have slowly gotten soft, slid out and lied. Speaking from personal experience.
freshberries22 17
It's all in the hips just do Zumba you'll learn and not only will you rock your man's world but you can sculpt and tone your abdomen.
kittytub 12
Zumba is ridiculous. i did it once and it was basically a bunch of silly moves. try dancing salsa op ;P
perdix 31
Put on zombie makeup role-play that he's ******* during the Apocalypse. You think you can manage to say "Brainz!" every now and then?
unknown_user5566 27
That would take the term "eating her out" to a whole new level.
PhishloverA 14
Tell him you've been faking orgasms
unknown_user5566 27
What a cruel comment, especially coming from a guy. Doesn't that break the sacred "bro code" or something?
dutchpower 5
Indeed, never break the bro code man!
RentaName 15
Sounds like you need a lesson in the art of sexercise.
JinxedPixie 16
I think it's more FML for your BF OP! Sex is fun! Get into! Scratch his back, nibble his neck and ear... Etc...DO SOMETHING!