Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Get a (big) dog. Change your locks. Buy a shotgun.
lyndis_fml 0
Well, you do. A golf ball at the door seemed less creepy than a note on your bedside table. Sorry if I scared you.
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Comments (214)
MeganBJ 0
so.. do you happen to have curtains in your room?? close them.. that is so creepy!!!!
Matt81_fml 0
i don't see the problem. it sounds like you managed to make a new friend with a really cool person.
dralven 0
yeah, this would suck, but it also means that you are being careless if he/she really is watching you sleep. Either you're not locking your doors/windows, or you're leaving the curtains/blinds open. Either way, you are asking for something like this to happen if you are.
heyyou1203 0
POLICE!!!! i totally agree w/ #22 here. Why is everyone so trigger happy and thinks that having a gun will solve all problems? Police have guns, too, and they know how to use them. If she reports it to the police they at least have a record of it if anything else were to happen, which helps her case better than if she were to report it later on, b/c then it looks like she was hiding something. Mace can cripple someone enough to run away, so y the need for a gun? You might shoot someone innocent in your super paranoid state. BUT PLEASE TELL ME YOUR WENT TO THE POLICE!!!!
JormpJomp 2
Maybe you could date him, then you wouldnt be so lonely at least.
philosopher 0
Once: just a prank Recurring: THEN you do something about it And to all of you suggesting shotguns, pepper spray, etc., thank you for making guys' dating lives that much harder because you've made some poor woman paranoid as shit.
dodger_fml 0
Holy smokes. Report it, just to be on the safe side. If it's just a joke, it'll be no big deal, and if it's not, you'll have at least done something about it.
Poppygee 0
That is super. Creepy. I guess you can declare that you have a stalker...um, nice?
strawberryy_fml 0
aww.. that's kinda cute in a weird creepy way..
asdfghjklEMMA 0
hey everybody. i think this person is smart enough to close his/her blinds and lock his/her doors after this has happened. PS #9 hahah