Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Get a (big) dog. Change your locks. Buy a shotgun.
lyndis_fml 0
Well, you do. A golf ball at the door seemed less creepy than a note on your bedside table. Sorry if I scared you.
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Comments (214)
beebeeL 1
omg report tht shit and MOVE . lmao . well @ least if yu r female .
BulldogQB4 0
That could easily be a joke. I think you are overreacting. I could put that under your door having never seen you and you would still freak out. It's probably just for ***** and giggles, not actually stalking you.
icedtea_fml 0
One word: creepy
Faced159 0
I'm sure it was probably just a joke. and if it's not, it's a compliment. :P
strawberriedc 0
If this is true, call the police and report this. Even if you feel silly, this could be a perpetrator working his way up to an actual attack. Be responsible and safe; you don't want to be in a position later to look back and regret not taking this seriously.
Kickinchicken213 3
Wow, he's a winner.
webbie3221 0
#9 wins
I_am_stupid_also 6
The local locksmith puts those balls under the mats of all new residents of the nearby apartments to create business for himself. Then he sneaks into their apartments at night.
exile529 0
agree with #8
DancingHorse 0
Obviously, some of you people don't know how to write with small letters. You can easily write all of that on a golf ball with a small-tipped Sharpie...Hell, it was only 6 words long, so it's not like the creep wrote a novel on it. To the OP: That is seriously creepy. If you just have curtains, I would suggest getting blinds, as well...and make sure they're CLOSED. I would let this one slide but if it happens again, I would get the police involved