Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
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Top comments
plaguer 26
Actually a lot of girls get breast reductions because incredibly large breasts can hurt the back.
yuzuhere 21
Maybe he was reading the fine print!
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Comments (86)
yuzuhere 21
Maybe he was reading the fine print!
94yhy 8
Stop working at Safeway as a security guard then.
TarieBoo 2
No, that reference doesnt work because it was the security guard that checked out the girl....not the other way around.
Bloodlvst 11
Annnnnnd the state of reading comprehension takes yet another hit.
94yhy 8
This FML says her coworker is staring, so if she worked at a Safeway as a security guard, it would reference properly…
rawr_ily96 24
Actually, no it wouldn't, because is she were the security guard, it would imply that she was checking him out, when, in reality, he was checking her out.
gracehi 33
You did the right thing by confronting him before going to a higher authority, and, despite his lame excuse, if he does stop staring at your chest, there's no reason to take the matter any further. However, if he doesn't stop, it's time to tell his boss.
Crazynopantsman 11
If you have a nice rack expect people to stare. Especially if you're wearing a low cut shirt.
schmelia 10
Yup, because apparently having large breasts means you consent to being objectified. Awesome.
downtime 13
I agree with the first part, it is definitely much better that she act like an adult and not like a child - unlike the other safeway fml in which she openly yells at someone for checking her out. The second part, in reference to low cut shirts, if I was walking around commando with my fly undone I would expect that there will be those who may stare. The same applies here. Don't show what you don't want people looking at, it's as annoying as those douchebags who have nice cars and when you look at them you hear the ever so clever "what the **** are you looking at?"
mrphychrs 5
maybe you should try to make your **** look less awesome and inviting
TarieBoo 2
There's no possible way to make **** 'less awesome'...they're ****. They will always be awesome.
unknown_user5566 27
Should've told him you were a post-op transvestite. Bet he'd stop then. :)
WaywardDaughter 26
Great idea! I would love to see the look on the guys face when OP said that.
cradle6 13
A transexual is someone who switches their sex. A transvestite is someone who cross dresses. You don't usually need surgery for that.
downtime 13
92, I'm guessing surprise followed by more staring as he exclaims how real they look...
AugustBurnsToast 14
I'm surprised he even had any trouble 'reading' your shirt anyway since those 'words' had to have been popping out at him.
redwingsfan88 9
That's a pretty pathetic excuse.
fabulosogurlee 7
Seems like a legit excuse...
redwingsfan88 9
The words are in 3D!!!
crackz12 10
^ you likey the lsd?
hecallsmedarlin 7
Stare at his penis and see how uncomfortable he gets about it! Wait..the perv would probably like it..scratch that idea. :/ Dang, us women just can't win can we?
matt_mcg 2
Yeah it totally sucks that people are attracted to you!
hecallsmedarlin 7
Well...when it is at the point to where it makes you feel uncomfortable, yeah.. It does.
schmelia 10
60 - there's a difference between someone being attracted to you and receiving unwanted, inappropriate attention.
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Take it HR so we can all read the following story: "Today, I got told off by a co-worker for staring at her chest. I told her that I was just trying to read what's on the shirt. It turns out that my now ex-employer's uniforms don't have any writing. FML."