Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
plaguer 26
Actually a lot of girls get breast reductions because incredibly large breasts can hurt the back.
yuzuhere 21
Maybe he was reading the fine print!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
br0ccoli 15
You should charge $100 per glance for the set. If he touches, he buys the whole thing. If he doesn't pay, the balls get knee'd.
reddudeover 2
You do realize that men don't just stand there and let their testicals get bashed right? Also we don't turn into wimpering lumps of jello either. I know I'd turn into the ******* hulk and smash the one who did it.
br0ccoli 15
I'm not endorsing random attacks of testicular violence. OP's situation, however, kind of calls of it. I'm not a man basher. I love men. I love testicles. We're friends, but when the owner of said testicles is being a perverted asshole, there is a consequence.
br0ccoli 15
39- You do just stand there if you don't see it coming. You need to chill, Hulk. It's a joke. All she has to do is cite him for sexual harassment if he continues.
matt_mcg 2
Looking at boobs is hardly an excuse to knee someone in the balls..... It actually is very damaging. Just because a guy looks at someones boobs it makes him a "perverted asshole"? Sometimes it's hard not to look you know
br0ccoli 15
Ok ok, I realize that when guys see boobs in a shirt it's like seeing your favorite toy and it triggers your body to respond and so I will cool it with the ******** knee jokes. BUT, no one likes to be stared at. How would you feel if women stared at your crotch all day?? I feel like guys would like this though...
j_cat187 20
But boobs are more exposed than testicles. If my nuts where just hanging out, I'm sure plenty of people would stare.
dellis44 7
gotta give him props for the legit excuse though.
timberwolf408 7
maybe he thought it was braille?
Brenda37 13
If he thought it was Braille, he would have been blind and touching her breasts instead... Your comment makes no sense whatsoever.
Harpy20 24
Let him stare. It's probably the most excitement he's gotten in a while.
gene818 13
A good excuse for the wrong situation.
reddudeover 2
Women (and gays) stare at my 8 pack abs and rock hard butt all day, you don't see me complaining. *starts crying in the corner
TheArchAngel 8
Don't you mean 'my fat packs and soft, flabby butt'?
itssosparkly 21
If you wear clothes that are able to show people your abs and butt, they're probably staring because you look so ridiculous.
reddudeover 2
53 - Just because YOU'RE fat doesn't mean everyone is. That's called projection. 55 - It's called under armor, some people wear it when working out. Both of you it was a damn joke calm your ****.
itssosparkly 21
I was also joking. Calm your rock hard buttocks.
Cyberia 0
YDI. If he could see your ****, then you clearly had them on display. I'm so sick of girls getting their **** out then complaining when guys look at them.
DjeePee 25
Euhm, I would say that if he could see her ****, then he clearly isn't blind. You know, **** don't magical disappear, even when dressed appropriately.
br0ccoli 15
I've never seen abs on someone's chest before.
reddudeover 2
74 - My chest isn't even in the picture. -_- I can upload another if you would like.
auzz1_pride 9
77) real smooth mate.
WaywardDaughter 26
77-ones chest is from the shoulder to the waist, so yes your chest is pictured.
reddudeover 2
93 - No your chest is from the bottom of your neck to the top of your abdominals learn some anatomy. That would be called my midsection.
wlddog 14
If you rocked the boat he would just watch them jiggle.
Anubis_81 21
Another OP who complains about the boob staring, though granted not professional between co-workers, but riddle me this, do you cover them, or do you offer some glimpse to your love jugs?
HungerGames95 13
Considering that she was in a work uniform... I would say that they were covered up...
ImBrent 8
Let him drool, while you work your way up to the top :)