Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my parents, siblings, and some other family members. Thirty minutes later, he broke up with me and stormed out, yelling no way was he staying with me because they’re all fucking psychotic. He's my second boyfriend driven away by my family. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If your grandfather can show you the ropes of auto-erotic asphyxiation, you won't need a boyfriend!
tigerisabelle 31
Sorry OP, families can suck. :(
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Comments (86)
ShakeDisPlace 10
I think we should all just stop bringing our gf/bf's to meet family. It usually just turns bad.
RayearthNinja 10
I couldn't agree more
MadMaddyson 10
unless you have that one super stalker creepy Bf/Gf that you're worried will kill you if you break up them. then you ask OP if you can borrow her family for a day.
Treveyon56 14
I actually had a friend who's ex tried to kill him for breaking up with her one night.
kt520 7
Well you have to admit that's a lot to handle when first meeting someone's family...but no reason to say what he did
rememberkids 14
good thing u found out now.
FaithlessGod 10
I don't understand how people can dump others for such things. Isn't it the love between you that counts? It sucks, I feel for you OP. I hope it all works out for you.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe he's worried that the psychotic apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
crisanba 18
I'm so sorry op but that conversations something out of a sitcom
JasonUMN 15
I could only imagine your family on Family Feud...
muise 11
I get all kinds of debates in my family but definitely no religious debates! If those were to happen it would be with visitors lol…
buckdharma 38
He should not have left until he could snatch the pebbles from your grandfather's hand.
jw90 18
My family is crazy too OP you're not alone.
Llamanator9913 16
What has your Grandpa been doin lately?...