Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend met my parents, siblings, and some other family members. Thirty minutes later, he broke up with me and stormed out, yelling no way was he staying with me because they’re all fucking psychotic. He's my second boyfriend driven away by my family. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If your grandfather can show you the ropes of auto-erotic asphyxiation, you won't need a boyfriend!
tigerisabelle 31
Sorry OP, families can suck. :(
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Comments (86)
RayearthNinja 10
That's it. I've read far too many of these "bring home significant other" stories. My parents will be lucky if they meet mine before the alter.
Eivana 37
Sounds like your maybe ex is a very boring, non accepting person.
twinkiefeets 17
Grandpa's a freak!
JoseIsAdork 31
damn it , grandpa... this is why we can't have nice things!!
lwonderful 11
1) we gotta love family no matter what! 2) That's rude of your {ex} to do that to you...
dawood_k 27
Classical Adams family... With an erotic side
khodginssxo 14
lol I personally would have thought the situation was hilarious.. Dudes a dud good riddance
Treveyon56 14
No surprise that almost everyone said the boyfriend is the wrong one. Honestly I kinda agree with him. Even if that was my family I couldn't put up with them. Sorry to say it OP but your family is the weirdest I've heard of.
Maxilius 9
Your boyfriend sucks. Your family sounds like my kind of party!
randm_dude 9
Thumps up for your grandfather. I really wonder the conversation reached that point though. xd