Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend met my parents, siblings, and some other family members. Thirty minutes later, he broke up with me and stormed out, yelling no way was he staying with me because they’re all fucking psychotic. He's my second boyfriend driven away by my family. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If your grandfather can show you the ropes of auto-erotic asphyxiation, you won't need a boyfriend!
tigerisabelle 31
Sorry OP, families can suck. :(
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Comments (86)
Nicostream 16
How did a religious debate turn into your grandpas fetishes, I still wonder. FYL OP however for having a crazy family and a (ex) boyfriend who didn't deserve you.
RedPillSucks 33
I had the same question. Maybe he thought the asphyxiation would bring about some sort of religious epiphany.
worldclassrager 41
Well that's one shift to another...
Cazz91 21
You could have always just..... *Whitney Houstan's voice* "And iiiiiiiiiiii-yeeeeee-iiiiiiiiiii will always love youuuuuuuuu" - then again, breaking down in a love song while in the middle of an argument like that may raise some concerning questions about yourself, lol.
rec_chem 22
Seems to have dumped you? You're not sure?
mulumequitem 6
That's it? I've dated girls with weirder families... Ever have your girlfriends parents try to talk you into a foursome.... I think not.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Please, do tell that story! lol
RayearthNinja 10
yes please do tell us that story.
SolarFlare 20
that would've been an alltime topper
olpally 33
That's just awful... Stupid ass grandpa!
davikiin 6
Your family actually sounds pretty awesome.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Console yourself with this, OP. While your family may sometimes be too much to handle, they are never boring and (hopefully) they love each other and stick together.
GenaALazer 22
I hope you didn't waste a lot of time him, he clearly wasn't worth it. Besides you're probably gonna end up like them in a couple of years.
janellecaitlyn 9
If he can't handle your family, he is not worth your time!