Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
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Top comments
weinerdog 2
Well, I'd say it's an fml because the dude apparently can't find any dates that are smarter than a box of rocks.
Demon_fml 0
More like FHL!!! Was she blonde?
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Comments (171)
peidit 0
blonde much?????
aupilot 0
Well, at least you know she's an idiot from the outset. **** and chuck, indeed.
PureGold 0
Sorry about the double post!! FML hiccuped :(
rushquickfast 0
Oh wow, she has the IQ of a crustacean
Captain0bv10us 0
I bet a boiled lobster is more intelligent
shmunk 0
she obviously does eat red meat, otherwise you wouldnt be paying for lobster on a first date.
dammn 0
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL , idiot much ?
amanda_panda_ 0
Well, SHE'S a keeper.
Trix_Disorder 20
FHL. What an idiot.
amykillswitch 0
bang her and leave.
Rach_star 0
lmao My thoughts exactly
mylifesucks_alot 0
I'm a natural blonde, have a cumulative college GPA of 3.7 [after 4 years] and am planning on attending graduate school. The assumption that hair color is corollary to intelligence is not only inaccurate (especially since the majority of "dumb blondes" happen to be bottle blondes) but it is also ridiculous and unfounded. How is that statement any better than asking if she were of a minority ethnic group? I'm not trying to personally attack you however. After all, it is society as a whole that is flawed and continues to perpetuate this ridiculous fallacy about hair color being indicative of stupidity. That said, OP, this girl is obviously not very intellectually gifted. I'm sure you can do better for yourself.
BrEnNo1023 5
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