Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
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Top comments
weinerdog 2
Well, I'd say it's an fml because the dude apparently can't find any dates that are smarter than a box of rocks.
Demon_fml 0
More like FHL!!! Was she blonde?
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Comments (171)
lolacaust 0
So shes either six and your a creeper. Or shes a blond with an IQ that matches her shoe size. Either way sucks to be you
dol567 0
LOLOLOLOL I swear this is the best FML on here....SO SO Funny!!! oh my gosh..dying of laughter
Coffee_Kaioken 0
.... I don't get any of this.
alwex 0
#52, you just opened my mind. I will no longer think of blondes as dumb bitches. Now I will just think of them as bitches ;). Stereotypes happen. fmylife.com is not exactly the best place to go about changing them.
ninjachik 0
#62, fhl means f his or her life
turtlellama 0
LOL, there are so many people that don't know what "anonymous" means, it's pretty sad. =D
dol567 0
#62 - FHL = F**** her life Like FML, FYL...just think of what the middle letter would be
Singularity_fml 0
#68 is my hero.
xyz8910 0
wow... idiot!
TBD3 0
Is this the only girl you could get to go on a date with you?