Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent hours cooking dinner for my date. When they arrived, they told me that I'd probably not paid much attention to their dating profile, as it clearly mentioned that they were vegan, and thus couldn't eat any of the food I'd prepared. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on a first date and tried to make a good impression by ordering something I'd never eaten before. It was a whole fish. I spent the next twenty minutes trying to figure out how to eat it without looking clueless. My date had ordered chicken nuggets. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML
Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML
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Top comments
Iamthebanzai22 21
I don't care if she can suck-start a Harley. Someone who is already annoying the shit out of you on a first date is a definite 'Nope'.
RichardPencil 32
I hope you didn't give her a good-night kiss at the end of the date. Her mouth probably held the bodily fluids of the waiter and most of the kitchen staff.
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Comments (5)
Chazzster 32
Unfortunately some people are just nuts and some people have real food allergies or sensitivities… My son was allergic to cows milk when he was an infant - most dairy products actually made him throw up as an infant. Eventually he grew out of it, but his food preferences were influenced by his early allergies… I understand it was embarrassing and likely pointless the degree your date went to about her food at the restaurant. But you weren’t the cook nor responsible for her instructions so it wasn’t really your problem (at this point). But I would agree that numerous food “sensitivities” are not exactly a plus in a potential mate. But I wouldn’t make that a “make it or break it” issue in itself.
Crowned Sataness 12
yeah at that point I would have probably told her flat out that if she needs that many changes to a dish, she needs to just order one she likes. I'm a server I don't tolerate that shit
Yudith 28
"I would like a dozen oysters and a plate of noodles with margarine, please. No butter, I am lactose intolerant. And a side of steamed carrots. Yes, all served together."
Iamthebanzai22 21
I don't care if she can suck-start a Harley. Someone who is already annoying the shit out of you on a first date is a definite 'Nope'.
FluffythePink 23
"suck-start a Harley" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Iamthebanzai22 21
😁😁😁😉
RichardPencil 32
I hope you didn't give her a good-night kiss at the end of the date. Her mouth probably held the bodily fluids of the waiter and most of the kitchen staff.
spinningrecords 14
I’d make that departing trip to the facilities.