Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
weinerdog 2
Well, I'd say it's an fml because the dude apparently can't find any dates that are smarter than a box of rocks.
Demon_fml 0
More like FHL!!! Was she blonde?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
poopooface 0
YDI because you can't pick smart girls to date... seriously.
tangello 0
LMAO
skierguy 0
Not really an FML. Seems like you got a clear sign that she's a colossal dumbass, and now you know to avoid her.
DULMAGE 0
I'm sure someone else has said it but lobster is seafood...red meat is from animals that go moo. YDI for not pointing that out.
schadenfreudeFTW 0
#52 actually made me laugh. you're trying to convince us all that blodes are not always dumb (which is stupid because we all know this anyway.... no one takes it seriously) and you use the word 'fallacy' incorrectly:) a fallacy is a flaw in reasoning. FAIL ON YOU.
nebjamin69 0
...Just when you thought Jessica Simpson's brain-dead antics about the dreaded chicken-fish were over...someone pipes up with this gem about lobsters. Doesn't it suck how the challenged look just like the norms?
Jareth_fml 0
Hope she was hot.
AntiChrist7 0
you date an idiot, says more about you: YDI
MajorLeeScrewed 0
Not worth bothering. Unless she was hot.
tipple 0
1. Did you ask for a date because of her looks, or IQ? 2. Just because she gets something wrong like that doesn't mean she's a moron - just confused about some things. She could be a total wizard at integral calculus, for example. 3. Did you try talking to her about topics that actually interest you? I'm sure that after the first 5 seconds, discussing the colour of lobster meat loses its novelty anyway. :o) If you enjoy talking about the same things, does it matter if she gets some things wrong? 4. We've all shown our complete lack of knowledge on something that those around us think is universally important. (I chose my time to do this on a New York sidewalk - my girlfriend hid and pretended not to know me :o) 5. She could also be the most loving, caring, gentle and thoughtful person on the planet. But you would probably have to talk with her for more than 30 seconds to find that out.