Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML
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Top comments
skullet 0
that shower head is SUCH A ****!
iamelrebel 0
big deal, you guys should just have got it on right there...
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Comments (67)
FAKEstfu 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So you two had crazy hot sex right? C'mon paint the picture, take me there!
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Is it legal in California to marry a 4-month-old baby? How did he manage to form that question?
meepmeep_fml 0
do you know how to read? "husband of 4 months" isn't even grammatically ambiguous?
perdix 31
I was just testing to see if anyone was that stupid to think I was that stupid. I win! Thanks for playing ;)
waterynuggets 0
Sure you did, buddy. Sure you did. ಠ_ಠ
ilaleahcim 6
You guys should check out perdix's other comments. Then tell us how smart you are... Idiots.
jonny2x4 0
Next to the vibrator and *****, the showerhead is another thing a man can never hope to compete with.
pinkredneck30 2
haha...... so true!!!! lmao
kukopia 0
Where is the FML?!?!?? How did THIS get thru the mods?!?!? MEHHHHHH (unless I can get pix) no vote for you!
Gallifrey_fml 0
pics? are you kidding? what did you think they'd do? Husband: ''hold it there honey i'll go grab the camera" wife: "ooooohoohhhooooohhhh!!!" - my point being why on earth would there be pics???
kukopia 0
It never hurts to ask.
21icefox 0
?, is all I can think of.
deepbluesea 1
Sounds like you two have found something else you have in common. Have fun with it.
Skull_300 0
What happened next? Did he Fist you?
Twitch04 0
Any particular reason you capitalized "fist?" As for the FML: Hah. I'd say the same thing if that happened to me with my girlfriend. I mean I'd be joking, but still.
rauj13 0
You deserve it for wasting water.
HerpiliePurplies 0
i wish my showerhead was bi...
Relentless113 0
i dont get it?