Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML
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Top comments
skullet 0
that shower head is SUCH A ****!
iamelrebel 0
big deal, you guys should just have got it on right there...
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Comments (67)
IceCream53423 0
why is this an fml? where in here would it be an fml moment? that's stupid. also all you people asking why others want pics it's a JOKE. they don't honestly expect someone to give them pics
Ziwhtam 0
How do so many people not get the FML? I think it implies that the husband used the shower head for... you know... too, which seems like the funniest outcome.
omghehehe 0
Wait... only 4 months of marriage and u both are masturbating? Already? Awww... I hope u asked him to join u in the shower and continue ur warm up :) Then the main course in the kitchen, dining room, living room, etc. hehehe ;)
miss_madison 10
Sometime sex and masturbation produce different orgasms. Other times your significant other is at work or out somewhere. Just because they ********** doesn't necessarily mean they aren't getting enough sex.
MyMichaelJackson 0
ha, everybody, it's an FML because her husband plays with himself&the showerhead and that's kinda sorta very weird... yall understand?
post_mortem 0
So where exactly is the problem? Your life is ruined because of...?
kravitzz1990 0
this is NOT a FML!!!! fyl coz im so dumb!
FromCFL 0
Wait. What's weird about a guy playing with himself in the shower? And what's wrong with masturbating when you've been married 4 months? Do you people honestly think people have to stop masturbating once they're in a relationship? What are you, 10 years old? After puberty, masturbation for both men & women is as much (if not more) about stress relief and just general release as it is about sex. I can't count the number of times I've made love to my partner & then jerked off while showering afterwards.
omghehehe 0
In my opinion, when masturbation doesn't interfere with a healthy sex life with your partner, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. My assumption was, with only 4 months of marriage, they would be sexed out. That's just from my experience. I understand some people use masturbation in a form of stress relief. Great, whatever works for them. My ex did that, later down the line. I had no problem with it. But, I do have to say, you must have great stamina to be able to make love to your partner and ******. Then "jerk off" after. That's quite impressive :)
DameGreyWulf 1
Actually, statistics show people tend to ********** MORE when they're in a relationship. Maybe it's actually having someone specifically to think about? [shrugs]
Nubcake67 4
That would make sense (the stats about masturbation).
xclegend613 0
ha i would've just sat and watched for a while if i was your husband
invalid_name94 0
I wish I could even get off... :-/ Playing with myself or having my girlfriend do it for me I never get anywhere :-/ I get hard, have a bit of pleaure, but never ******... Kinda sucks... Any idea how to fix this?
Shayy_o_O 0
maybe you should post that on a site where people are actually going to help you rather than as a comment on an fml
Chocolate_Chunk 2
standard fml answer: maybe you're gay?
perdix 31
That's fantastic. I hope others caught the "Et tu, Brute?" reference. That phrase is useful in everyday life. Who said learning can't be fun? Egbert Duddleberry. But he was an idiot and no one listened to him anyway.