Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
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Top comments
WhiteCrimson 23
Points for innovative thinking! F on thinking it through first!!!
You_Screwed_Up 7
At least he was trying to be creative in his laziness!
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Comments (105)
middlenamefrank 8
So you read classic "Dennis the Menace" comics too???
cinthiamcenteno 10
generations getting lazier n lazier! we need to take some technology away from these kids n give only as a reward, n only for so long at a time.
graceinsheepwear 34
Looks like someone already took away the a and d keys on your keypad.
Jared900DUmpling 30
It's like that lawn mower ifunny feature!
buckdharma 38
Tie your mower down Tie your mower down Take your Troy Bilt swimmin' like a brick
migueljm5 18
Im glad it didnt end saying while my neighbor was in the pool
blackonblight 33
I can't really judge till we get an age on the child. Also, invest in a robo mower if possible, they work like roomba's, you lay down the wire defining the limits then let them run. We got my grandparents one and they love it. Half the neighborhood comes to watch the thing. (Small town, and mostly elderly people living near them, so it's all but wizardry to them)
TheDrifter 24
Works great, unless you have small kids, or pets, or a spouse that leaves things laying around the yard. I got the unique joy of cleaning a curious Pomeranian out of one.
blackonblight 33
Well, like I said, it's like a roomba, the AI isn't going to decide to lead an appliance revolt on you, so it's going to be a bit stupid. But if you keep the yard clear of objects the same as if you were doing the mowing manually, there's no problems. And if your dog somehow manages to get into that thing it was suicidal and determined.
TAKEEEEES 8
He's the future.
jakejohn0693 12
Your son is an idiot. Correction... A lazy idiot.
roxygj 2
That's why children should be supervised, and not left to their own will around dangerous machines. Jack!!
lotrgeek 10
This sounds like its from a really bad comedy movie lmao